Knocking On Classroom Doors
by Niji-chi
Summary: I was just your average 17 year old. That is, until the stupid Commie decided he wanted to play his little game with me. Now my high school life in painfully controlled because of a stupid horror movie and a bet. Yeah, I'm screwed.
1. Chapter 1

He had always been on the weird side, as far as weird gets. Last year, on his first day -a month and a half into school- he arrived at the door and knocked, yes KNOCKED at the door. No one knocks on a classroom door, seriously!

So, after his little knock, the teacher let him in. He was tall, as in, 6-foot-I-could-crush-you-and-a-half feet tall. Scary, too. Well, except for the fact that he had this cute little smile (I mean cute as in kicked puppy, not cute as in attractive) and a pinkish white scarf covering him up. That made him much less intimidating. He had smiled, blushed a bit, and introduced him self as "Ivan Braginski." He had a super thick accent, too, and I found out he was a Commie. DAMN THEM! SENDING INNOCENT LOOKING SPIES TO LEARN WITH OUR AWESOME TEACHING SKILLS!

Anyways, fast foreword to present day. Yup, I was a junior now. 17 years old, and very attractive, too.

"Hey, Alfred, come here!" I turned to see one of my best friends, a German -no, Prussian- albino named Gilbert.

"What is it, dude?" I replied, smirking.

"Braginski is totally in our TA again, that is SO not awesome!" He whined in return, angrily motioning to Ivan. As he said, the tall Russian was sitting in a desk in the front, happy little smile in place. Like always. He had on his scarf, too. He never seemed to take it off, not even in gym and stuff.

Normally I would tell Gil to shut up and leave the Commie alone, but something had happened.

Over our summer break, I had to 'visit' him with my mom, which ended up being torture. Absolute torture. I had to go over to his house, which was relatively normal as far as houses go, and 'have fun' with him while or mothers discussed some crap for work. My twin brother Matthew was at his friend's house, so I was alone.

He took me up to his room with his weird-ass smile and sat down on his little twin-sized bed (Heros like me had KING SIZE) and motioned for me to do the same. Which I did, like the awesomely nice person I am.

"So, Fredka, what would you like to do?" He asked me. Damn, I hated it when he called me 'Fredka' like it was some word in his stupid Commie language.

"I dunno, it's your house, dude!" I laughed, looking at him a bit awkwardly.

He gave me the most innocent smile and laughed darkly, which scared me for a minute (Heros never get scared!), and then pointed towards a TV. It was like he had some sort of evil plan!

His room was fairly normal, too. It was sparsely 'decorated' with a bookshelf (Only like, FIVE books in American, all the rest in his Commie language!) and a desk, asides from his little bed. The walls were white and had no pictures or anything, which was sad if you ask me. Mine have tons of game posters and stuff, mostly from my best friend Kiku, and pictures of me and my bro. His had nothing.

On his desk sat a sunflower, of all things, and a fancy looking computer. And then a small TV on his bookshelf, facing the bed.

"Would you like to watch a movie?" He asked. I nodded, what else was there to do? It's not like I could hold a conversation with him, he was too weird! I can't fraternize with the enemy Commies anyways!

He stood and walked to the shelf, scarf ruffing a bit behind him. He wasn't wearing his usual beige coat, he had instead a loose white and blue sweater, and that was weird. I had never really seen him in other clothes besides that stupid Commie getup.

"Do you like scary movies, Fredka?~" He asked cutely, holding up a DVD case with that creepy smile. I nodded, I was the Hero, I wouldn't get scared! So, he put it in and rejoined me on the bed, leaning long ways with he head against the pillows to face the screen. I had to, too, because his bed was so small. And the placement of the stupid TV screen.

It was really weird laying next to him, we had to be so close, too! It was horrible! The previews played for a moment before we reached the menu, and I involuntarily stiffened. I hated ghost movies! He had to pick Paranormal Activity, of all movies, too! I turned my head to see him staring at me with that stupid little smile. I was contemplating punching him in the face when the movie started, but I opted instead to focus on it instead. That was a bad idea.

10 minutes in I was all but crying, huddled against the wall with Ivan's sunflower-print blanket balled up in my fists.

"OHMYGOD DID YOU SEE THAT THING MOVE THEY'RE GONNA DIE IVAN!" I cried, shutting my eyes tightly.

"Da, Fredka~ That poor girl…" Ivan smiled and glanced at me, and it felt as though he was ENJOYING my suffering! I mean, I wasn't SUFFERING, Hero's aren't afraid, right?

"Oh, I did not know you were so afraid of little ghosts!" He giggled.

"I AM NOT! YOU JUST ARE UNAFFECTED COS OF YOUR STUPID COMMIE POWERS!" I replied, still hiding as the girl was again teased by the ghost. Damn him for finding my one weakness within five minutes!

Just then, the blankets were ripped off of the girl on the screen and she screamed -okay maybe it was me- causing me to jump and grab the nearest thing. That 'thing' just happened to be Ivan, who seemed as shocked as I was.

I buried my face into his sweater, trying to block out the creepy music that was playing. I hated ghosts, HATED THEM! Why did I say yes to him! Why didn't we just watch The Hangover like normal people!

And he did the nicest/weirdest thing. Ever. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer.

"I will protect you, Fredka, do not worry. Those ghosts are not as scary as Communism, da?~" He whispered softly. The TV screamed again and I clutched him tighter, crying softly. He was warm, I noticed, and that finally did it.

I let go and lunged away, falling off of the bed in the process. For a minute, I just lied on the floor, staring at the bed like it was going to start doing the Macarena.

Ivan peeked over the side and looked at me, smile now gone for an expression of shock and worry. When he saw I wan't dead and/or passed out, he grinned and giggled.

"You are silly!"

"AM NOT! YOU'RE THE CREEPER WHO DECIDED TO, LIKE, HUG ME!" I yelled in defense. I heard the door click open behind me and heard a gasp. I sat up to see a really hot chick -Ivan's younger sister Natalia- with an expression of both anger and admiration on her face.

"BIG BROTHER!" She cried, lunging at the bed and hugging Ivan. He looked as though he was about to cry and was trying to pry the girl off of himself.

"Did that nasty Capitalist American Pig try to rape you? I WILL KILL HIM, VANYA!" She cried, facing me. At this point, I noticed she had a very shiny kitchen knife in her hand and a malicious grin.

"Wh-what…?" I could barely mumble before she threw herself at me. I closed my eyes, and covered my face, expecting to get stabbed for laying a finger on her precious 'Vanya' -whatever that meant- but felt nothing. I stood quickly, reaching over to help Ivan subdue her. He had grabbed her before she could hurt me, and she was trying to escape.

"KATYUSHA!" Ivan yelled, and his mom -Katyusha? Does that mean mom in Commie?- and my mom came running up the stairs. His mom barked in that Commie language again and Natalia immediately stopped fighting. Ivan released her and she glared at me, spitting a few things that I could only assume were swears before leaving. Katyusha and my mom remained.

"I am so sorry about little sister, I will try to keep her away!" Katyusha said, her huge breasts bouncing. I had barely noticed before how exactly HUMONGOUS they were.

"It is okay, big sister, she does not mean harm." Ivan looked at me and smiled. "I shall continue the movie, da? We do not want to disturb you two," He looked at the women and they grinned and left.

It was quiet for a minute as Ivan fiddled with the TV, turning it off, to my surprise. I had sat back down on his bed, this time at the edge.

He turned to me and smiled, "So, you are afraid of ghosts?"

I scowled but nodded, not much use in trying to hide it now. But I smirked back after a second.

"So, you are afraid of your little sister?" He gave me a pained expression and nodded. We were tied now.

**Author's Note:**

**PRIVET COMRADES!~ This is the first chapter to my glorious new fanfic~ The first fanfic I have deemed worthy of posting on this wondrous website! It will have more romance soon, don't worry! Sorry about the shortness, the next one is almost done and longer, I should be posting it a bit later today! As for posting schedules go, I am hoping to find some sort of definite time, but I don't know about it yet.**

**So, i basically have been stalking the Hetalia thread on here for two months, and I have loved every bit! RusAme is my favorite pairing, yay! (I used to only like RoChu, which I do not like anymore..)**

**Anywho, I hope you enjoy this! ^**


	2. Chapter 2

So, after that whole incident, I -luckily- did not have to deal with Ivan again for awhile. I had made sure to avoid any chance of seeing him, too. I wasn't afraid of him or anything, I'm the Hero -Heros are NOT afraid- and I had a pretty valuable bit of info on him anyways. So I decided that it didn't matter! He wouldn't tell anyone my secret in fear of having his leaked, so I was safe. At least, temporarily.

Anyways, back to Gilbert giving me an awkward look -I was having a little flashback like JD from Scrubs- and me gawking at Ivan.

"Yeah, that sucks." Little did I know that I would have to deal a lot more with the stupid Commie. Stupid fate and her stupid sick jokes. Sick, sick jokes.

Then our teacher came in, to our dismay, so our chatter had to stop. This practically saved me, so I wasn't complaining. I didn't have to explain everything to Gil; he wouldn't really understand, and he would probably make fun of me about it.

With nothing better to do, I beg a doodle of an awesome Hero kicking a Commie's ass. It escalated from the margin until it had spanned almost the entire page, and I was smirking with satisfaction. Our teacher was still reading off the boring announcements and the like, so I was still safe for awhile.

I was almost done, too, when I got a note. It was regular lined paper from a notebook, ripped carefully at the perforated line and folded neatly in a little square. In a fancy-looking scrawl was Alfred, so I assumed it was for me. There were no other awesome kids named Alfred in our class.

So, I opened it, looking all smug and stuff, when I learned it was from the Commie. I KNEW he was going to backstab me!

_Dear Alfred,_

_The incident that happened at my home over our summer vacation will not be mentioned to anyone, I presume. I have a little deal for you, though. Meet me in the bathroom at 10:30._

_Ivan_

I looked at the note blankly, trying to process what I had just read. A deal? What kind of deal did he mean? And the bathroom of all places? I was thinking of just skipping when I realized something big. Something important. He said deal, so there is something that he wants, too. And I might benefit.

I had to go now! I mean, Heros are meant to kick Commie ass, but if they have something worth a deal, then it's foolish to ignore! I was triumphant! I noticed something written on the back and flipped the paper over quickly.

_P.S. You will benefit more than you think, little Hero._

My breath hitched in my throat. How did he know I was thinking that? And where did he get the right to call me 'little Hero?' I almost preferred Fredka over that, it made me sound like a kid, and not a badass Hero! I folded the note back up and stuffed it in my pocket, sparing a glance at the Commie himself.

He was turned almost completely around, staring at me intently with that stupid grin on his face, violet eyes studying my expression. I gave him my best Hero grin and nodded, smirking as he gave me a look of joy. At this point, I didn't even stop to think if it was a trap. Why would he do that?

10:30 rolled around faster than I would have liked it to, believe it or not. After not seeing his smug little grin for 2 hours I was finally starting to realize how bad this could turn out. But if he tried anything, I could just let out his secret, right? What was he going to do, cut out my tongue? I froze mid step, feeling suddenly nervous in the empty hallway.

What if he WAS going to do that? No, what if he was going to… To kill me? I shuddered at the thought, wishing I had asked Gilbert to come and act as a lookout or something. I should have at least told him. But if I was gone for too long the teacher would send someone to get me, I can't wait in the bathroom forever, right?

I pushed the heavy wooden door open carefully, expecting Ivan to come running at me with a knife. I found not such thing, and relaxed.

He was leaning against the wall and staring out the window, his smiled gone for a look of calm contemplation. I cocked my head to the side and watched him for a minute, standing in silence. It was weird, how surreal it was. I was expecting something so grand.

"I am glad you decided to come, Fredka~" He murmured, turning to face me with a smirk. I rolled my eyes.

"Well, duh! I'm not an idiot, dude! I don't miss an opportunity if I see one!" I replied, laughing at how stupid he was. Heros aren't afraid of anything! Especially not stupid Commies!

"I am glad you finally decided to use that little head of yours. Now, about that deal…" He paused, looking me over once before meeting my gaze. "I was thinking it would be in our best interest to become friends, da? If we do not hate each other, there would be no reason for us to fear our secrets letting loose." He began to pace quietly, despite his, er, largeness, and I gawked at him.

That was it? He wanted us to be friends? That's all? I don't see how that is really much of a benefit for me, seeing as how we don't gain anything! I thought he was going to give me money or something, not a stupid friendship proposal!

"I can see you disagree. Just think of it this way." He leaned closer to me and smirked, "If we are not friends, then there is the possibility that one of us might get mad at the other and let the secret loose. Weather on accident or not, they will have to pay, da? So it would just be easier -and safer- for us both to join forces." He stopped again and examined my face. "Like in WWI and WWII, da? The America and Russia were Allies, remember?"

I glared at him, wishing he wasn't taller than me so I could glare DOWN at him, instead of up. The scowl on my face slowly dissolved, though, as I realized how this actually COULD work out in my favor! I wouldn't have to worry about my secret at all, and all i had to do was be nice to the Commie!

"Fine, Commie!" I laughed, sticking out my hand for a shake. That's how Heros close deals!

Ivan shook his head and laughed. "Friends, da? Friends do not shake hands!" He giggled and grabbed me before I could protest, pulling me into a nice, warm, hug. Wait, warm? ACK! The Commie was hugging me! He was getting his Commie germs all over my awesomeness! I squirmed in his tight grip, but he still held me. It was awkward, to say the least! And insulting.

Then, he abruptly let me go, pushing past me to get to the door. "I shall see you later, da? Oh, and by the way," He smirked, "Friends do not call each other 'Commie'." And, with that, he left, leaving me alone in the bathroom.

I was totally confused, to say the least.

I returned to class and got a few weird looks, but I was happy. Ivan wasn't in any of my other classes, so I wouldn't have to deal with him, right? Well, i was wrong. Come lunch time, he had the audacity to actually think I was going to sit with him!

"But that is what friends do, Fredka.~" He purred, smiling and gesturing towards his table. The only other person there was Toris, a shy LIthuanian kid that I used to be friends with in grade school.

"No, Ivan!" I stated firmly, "I am not going to sit with you just because of some stupid deal! I can't abandon my friends!" I replied angrily, crossing my arms over my chest. I was NOT going to lose this fight!

He closed his eyes thought for a moment, merely a brief second, before looking at me with a really creepy expression.

"Okay, little American! How about if Toris and I sit at your table, then? That should work!" I deadpanned. Seriously? He though I was gonna let his Commie-ness invade my table? Nu uh!

I sat with Gilbert, my British friend Arthur, the creepy French guy Francis, and a few other random kids. We were awesome. No Commies allowed.

I huffed stubbornly, glaring at him harder. "NO WAY!"

"Then you shall sit with me."

"NO!"

Ivan rolled his eyes and grabbed my arm, dragging me over to his table and shoving me down forcefully. I tried to get away, but he held me there, joint me and a shaking Toris. I felt bad for the poor guy, he had to sit here every day and deal with crazy Commie.

"Stop," He commanded. I obliged with a pout, not at all happy to be at this table. Why did I accept his stupid deal? WHY?

He looked at me oddly and then motioned to my lunch, which I was carrying. I sighed and opened my Captain America box (THE BEST HERO EVER) taking out some McDonalds I had bought earlier. He raised and eyebrow in question but I ignored that. Stupid Commie.

And lunch passed like that. All three of us were silent as we ate, and all three of us stayed silent afterwards. It was awkward as hell, and I was glad to get out of there.

I quickly ran to Gilbert and Arthur as soon as the bell rang, avoiding Ivan so as not to get dragged into some other situation. (Haha, get it?)

"And then I was like, 'Do you wanna see my awesome five meters?' and she was all like, 'Ya I do, Gilbert, you're so sexy!'" I walked up to the pair and smacked Gil in the back of his head, getting a loud "OW!".

"Dude what was that for?" He whined. I heard Arthur stifle a laugh.

"For not backing me up when I was kidnapped by that whacked out Commie! You should have helped me! Dick!" I replied. Gilbert rolled his eyes and began to walk away, continuing his 'story.'

"Hey! don't ignore me! I had to sit through 40 minutes of silence 'cos of you!" I grabbed his arm to stop him. I heard Arthur sigh and walk away, leaving me alone with the crazy albino.

"It's not my fault! Why was he making you do that anyways?" I froze. How was I supposed to explain that? I couldn't, without telling him about our deal. Or about the secrets. Damn Commie, screwing things up even when you're not here!

But, I think that he must have heard what was going on, because he suddenly appeared behind me and grabbed me around the waist, pulling me away. I was about to ask for Gil's help, but he just rolled his eyes and went to class. Oh yeah, class. Wasn't I supposed to be there?

"I am going to your house after school." It wasn't a question, either. I sighed and tried to squirm out of his grip, but he held fast.

Whoop-dee doo! Now I've got a bloody Commie coming over. Won't mom be proud of me?

**Author's note:**

**Ack! I tried to update as fast as I could, but I had a bit of writers block for this little chapter here! DX I hope you all enjoy it anyway, even though it is short. I may get the next chapter up in a bit, if I have enough time to finish it. Otherwise, expect it tomorrow! I was SOOOOO happy to get all of these reviews, thanks so much guys!**

**sesshyrules9108**

**Soriyama**

**animechick57**

**If you didn't know, that's my awesome hall of fame right there! w**

**Okay, up next comes the bet that is mentioned in the summary, as well as a bit of bonding time between the two of them at Alfie's house. And Matthew finally makes his appearance!**

**I was going to write with everyone's accents, but I'm not sure. What do you wonderful reviewers think?**

**Niji out!**


	3. Chapter 3

My last two classes were too boring to hold my attention, (We all hate english and history, right? I mean, we weren't even talking about anything good in history, just the Mayans) so my thoughts drifted back to Ivan. Who gave him the idea that he could just boss me around? And invite himself over. That is not cool. Stupid Commie.

So, with an exasperated sigh, I tried to think of all the ways I could get out of this. I could fake begin sick, right? He wouldn't want to get my germs on him. But he would know I was faking. For a minute or two, I thought about asking my mom to pick me up, but she would WANT Ivan to come over!

The bell rang, signaling impending doom. It was like a warning. "RUN, ALFRED, RUN!" Of course, I couldn't listen to that. I had to face the Russian freak, there was not other way to deal with this! If I backed out, he would think I was a chicken, and I am definitely NOT a chicken! I am a Hero! A badass Hero!

I shoved my books in my locker and turned around to go find said Commie, but he was already right behind me. And that smile! Ugh, it made me want to go hide in the bathroom. But there was no escaping now.

"Hello, Fredka! I am glad to see that you waited for me. How sweet of you. Just like a true friend!" The way he said that with such a mocking tone almost gave me enough of a reason to punch him right in the face, end this all now. But he grabbed my arm and headed towards the door, laughing under his breath. Creep.

"Let go!" I said angrily, pulling my arm out of his grasp. I glared at him and stopped, turning back down the hallway. He gave me a quizzical look.

"First of all, Ivan, I don't think you know where I live, huh?" I asked, arms crossed over my chest cockily. If he did, I would be seriously worried.

"You are right. But you can just lead the way, da?" He replied, placing his hand on my shoulder. I tried to shrug it off, but that just made me look even more like an idiot, since he had like, a death grip.

"Second of all, we have to wait for Mattie!" I reached up and pushed his hand off, searching the swarm of students for that familiar blonde curl.

"Who?" Ivan asked, obviously confused. I was pissed now, nobody would forget my brother and live to tell the tale!

"My twin brother, you idiot Commie!" I said loudly, emphasizing that with a hard shove. He took a step back, face contorted into a look of deep thought.

A light tap on my shoulder took my attention and I turned around, expecting Mattie to be there and say something like, 'I've been here for five minutes, Alfie!' like he always did, but I instead was greeted with the face of my best friend, Kiku.

"Alfred-san. Matthew told me to tell you that he will be at Francis' house today," he said nervously, blushing and looking at the floor. I groaned loudly.

"Thank- uh I mean, Arigato Gozaimasu, Kiku-chan!" I replied. I still wasn't very happy. How could Mattie leave me alone with the psycho Commie? Did he hate me or something? And why Francis' house? Francis was a creeper, that's for sure.

Kiku blushed at my reply and hurried off, not before calling out a muffled, "Sayonara!" And what I think was 'Allie-chan.' I would have to ask him.

Now that we no longer had to wait, i just wanted to get out of there. I grabbed Ivan's arm, much to his shock, and pulled him outside, smiling as the warm air hit my face. I loved the summer more than anything, but the gentle fall air was so warm and nice I almost forgot all about ice cream and fireworks. Almost. I had my eyes shut to enjoy the sight and, before I knew it, I was plummeting down the marble stairs in front of the school. At least, I thought I was.

I had been saved by two warm arms, wrapped securely around my waist. And then I remembered who I was with.

I quickly stood up straight and tried to struggle out of his grip, but it was to no avail. He was really strong. Probably because he's fat. Stupid fat Commie.

He finally let me go and I turned to face him, glaring angrily. He was smiling and… blushing? That's weird. I ignored it and began trudging home and he followed happily. There was even a little skip in his step. This was not going to turn out good.

The entire way to my house he was silent, thank god. He probably was going to try to kill me. Or worse. He was going to try and actually be my friend. I was even starting to like him, I mean, he was persistent and he had a good point. I don't trust him, so why should he trust me?

When we arrived, I stopped in front of my door, heaving a sigh before entering. It was empty.

"Mom?" I yelled. No reply. I took off my backpack and tossed it onto the couch, running to the edge of the stairs and calling again. Still no reply.

"I do not think that your mother is here, Fredka~" Ivan stated, looking around in what I assumed was awe. I sighed loudly and dramatically.

"C'mon," I took his arm and led him upstairs to my room, which I realized was a bad idea. Now he was probably going to make fun of me for having a messy room! Damn it! I turned to him, expecting a smirk or a scowl, but was shocked.

He was gawking, looking around my room in all of it's awesome glory. He took a few steps, avoiding a large pile of clothes, and sat on my bed, still too stunned to speak.

I smiled, going to rifle though my closet for some ramen. It wasn't hard to find, considering I had like 20 huge boxes that Kiku had gotten me for Christmas. He was a good friend! I also had a bunch of boxes of tea, from Arthur. He claimed that they were for me, but I knew he had just given them to me so that he would always have some when he came over. I picked up a box and tossed it to Ivan. He caught it and looked down, studying it intently.

"_Fine black tea perfectly balanced with the distinctive flavor of bergamot_." He read softly, setting it aside to study the rest of my room.

I rolled my eyes and took one of the boxes of ramen, smirking as I headed to the doorway.

"You hungry?"

He looked at me for a second, confused, before standing up and following me with a smile. I went back to my kitchen and took out a small pot, filling it up with enough water for one package before turning back to Ivan.

"You want ramen or something else?" I asked, holding up one of the orange packages tauntingly. He studied it for a moment before nodding his head. I put more water in and started up the stove.

"So, what do you wanna do?" I asked casually. I mean, he was already here, so what's the point of trying to be pissy?

He just shrugged.

I rolled my eyes again. "Well, what do you usually do with your friends?"

"I do not have any friends," He said. Then, he quickly added, "Until now, that is!" He smiled at me and, for a moment, I wanted to hug him and tell him that we could be friends. For a moment. Then I remembered that he was a Commie. Yeah, no hugs.

"No friends? What about Toris?" I asked, emptying two packages of noodles into the now boiling water.

He sat down at a bar stool and shook his head glumly. "I just asked him to sit next to me today so that you wouldn't think I was a loser, " He admitted. I gaped at him. "He was smart and said yes." It took me a second to process that, but I did. He would've beat him up or something. All for me? For an image? I sighed.

"You can sit with me at lunch, dude! Don't go and do that kind of stuff anymore!" I wanted to add that he probably would never make any friends if he wasn't so intimidating, but I decided not to. I mean, he already was so pathetic.

He brightened up and looked into my eyes -creepily- with a big smile.I could tell that this was a real one, too.

"Spasibo." He whispered, making me jump a little.

"What?"

"That means 'Thank you' in Russian."

I thought it over for a second. "That's cool! Can you swear in Russian, too?"

He looked at me for a moment and then rolled his eyes, laughing.

"What?" I asked defensively, crossing my arms over my chest.

"You do understand that I was born and raised in Russia, right?" He asked.

"Well, duh! You were born there, making you a Commie!"

"Do you know the native language of Russia, Fredka?"

I looked at him, still angry, until I realized it. Oh. He must think I'm a real idiot now, right? DAMN IT! I internally scolded myself.

"Do you really want to know?" He asked, startling me. I turned to face him and he had a cute little teasing smile on his face. I nodded.

"Well, duh!" I laughed, "Then I could swear at people and they wouldn't know what it meant!"

He laughed cutely. "Okay! I shall teach you some…" He paused in thought, tapping his chin for a moment. " `Suka. That is like… Bitch?" He said. I giggled, trying to say it. He raised an eyebrow and laughed at my attempt.

"Mudak is like… dickhead.. Or asshole." He added. I laughed and tried to say it again, and he laughed too. It was nice, us just laughing like that. And I had to admit, when he swore in English, it was as funny as Hell. His accent made him sound hilarious!

I turned the stove off and split the ramen into two bowls, handing one to him and sitting at a stool next to him.

"Zatk`ins. That's shut up." Ivan laughed.

"Oh, now you've done yourself in! I'll know what you mean next time! 'Cos I talk a lot!" I laughed, eating a forkful of noodles. Kiku had tried many times to get me to eat with chopsticks, but whatever.

"Why would I want you to stop talking? You're the only person that has ever talked to me!"

I paused and looked at my almost empty bowl, feeling a bit bad, but also curious.

"You don't think I'm annoying?" I asked carefully. He shook his head.

"Nyet, not at all! You are fun to be around…" I blushed a little and stood, putting my bowl into the sink. He added his and followed me back to my room. I noticed he still had his coat on. Well, he always did.

"Why don't you ever take your coat off?"

He looked at it then at me, frowning a bit before shrugging it off of his shoulders and setting it on my bed. I was a bit surprised, to say the least. I mean, I always thought he was kind of fat, at least pudgy, but it was just the bulk of his coat. He was actually quite thin, toned I guess. I shook those weird thoughts out of my head and turned back to Ivan with a smile.

"So, what do you wanna do?" I asked. He looked at me strangely.

"You do not think that I am fat?"

I shook my head. "No way, dude! You're totally skinny!"

He didn't look like he believed me, but answered my other question.

"Want to make a bet?"

**Author's Note:**

**Oh! A cliffhanger! Sorry guys! I couldn't really resist!**

**Question: do you think I over used the word commie in the previous chapters? And I'm sorry I lied! Mattie does not appear… yet! He DEFINITELY WILL! I cut this chapter, that's why the bet and Mattie are NOT in it… Anyways… Cute bonding time! ^^**

**This is hopefully longer.. I have to get offline so I can't post more today! MAYBE tomorrow.. Probably more like Friday?**

**Translations are in the story! Sorry that these chapters are all so short!  
**

**Niji out!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry about the long wait! Long story short, my neighbor decided to put a password on their wi-fi... Ergo... No wi-fi for me... This is pathetically short, too!**

I studied his expression, trying to pick out if he was joking or not. A bet? I win most bets! Why? BECAUSE I AM THE HERO! And Heros win all bets. Yeah.

His face wasn't much of a giveaway anyways, he just had a small grin, his eyes flickering dangerously. I was fully aware that this could lead to my demise, especially if it was some sort of unwinnable bet. (You know, the ones where you know nothing about said bet so you fail at choosing the winning choice?) I was curious, too.

So, I nodded my head slowly, shuffling a few things off of my bed and joining him. He smirked and giggled, face still unreadable.

"What kind of bet?" I asked warily, wondering why he wasn't already telling me about it. Isn't that what the villain does? They tell you all about their stupid plan when they think they have you cornered, and then you make your grand escape and destroy them! At least, that's what I'd come to believe. Why would superheros lie about that?

"Actually, never mind. I do not think that you will like this bet…" Ivan trailed off, shaking his head as he did so. His smile had faded, but that devilish tint in his eyes made sense now. He was calling me a chicken.

"Tell me, dude! I'm no chicken!" Little did I know that I had fallen right into his trap. I wasn't about to let that subtle insult pass me by, NO WAY.

"Are you sure?" He teased in a sing-song voice, poking me in the side as he laughed.

"Yes! Now tell me!" I cried, pushing his arm away. His taunting was starting to piss me off, especially since I just wanted to know the stupid bet!

"Okay… The bet is…" It was like American Idol, how Ryan Seacrest would pause dramatically before he announced anything.

"COME ON!" I practically shouted, giving him a hard shove on the shoulder to try and stir him. He looked kind of lost, having almost froze mid-sentence because of a thought. Was he bluffing? Did he actually have a bet?

"Do everything I say," He finally said, looking me straight in the eye with another unreadable expression. I was dumbfounded. What? WHAT?

"WHAT?" I said, echoing my thoughts. He just laughed, first gently and then louder and louder after seeing my expression. I was still in shock, I mean, that wasn't even a bet!

"For a week, Fredka!~ Do everything I say. If you decide to 'chicken out' and not do something, then you have to listen to me for the rest of the semester. If you do everything I ask, all week, then you can tell me what to do all semester." He smirked and raised an eyebrow, and I gawked. He knew I was no chicken. He KNEW that I would totally win. He KNEW it, yet he was risking it! Unless he actually had a good plan or something… NO! The stupid Commie would NOT be smart enough to have a plan. No.

He looked me over, studying my reaction with a smile. He was enjoying this, I could tell. Maybe he was just kidding? But after he lost his smile and gave me a worried look, I realized that he was not. He was taking this seriously. Why else would he look so worried? Why else would he be shaking me and calling my name? Why else would he be holding my chin and looking into my eyes, still silently mouthing my name as his eyes reflected true worry? Oh yeah.

Maybe because I'd be sitting still on my bed for the past five minutes. My expression unchanging, my eyes unblinking and unwavering. Yeah, that's probably why.

I suddenly regained control and smirked, laughing histerically. Ivan looked extremely worried, face contorting into a frown as he watched me laugh and laugh. I couldn't help myself! It was too funny, too priceless.

"That's it?" I managed to breathe out, still laughing. Of course, this was not at all what I was thinking, I mean, I couldn't tell him I was actually a bit worried, could I? Then he would think that I was a chicken.

"Wh… What?" It was his turn to be confused, stupid Commie. HA!

"I think the stakes are too low," I replied cockily, laughter finally dying down. "Whoever loses, doesn't JUST have to do what the other says, but their secret gets out." I cocked an eyebrow and smirked.

He looked at me curiously before joining me in laughter. "Are you sure?~" He taunted again. I nodded enthusiastically.

"Who would've known being your friend would be so much fun?" I asked, laughing even more. Ivan paused and looked at me, smiling warmly. It was awkward.

"So the bet is on, da?" He asked, sticking out his hand for a shake. I smirked.

"Hell yeah!" I took his hand and we shook, binding ourselves to this foolish deal. Immediately after, Ivan grinned.

"Let me stay over tonight." He commanded. I froze. Whoa. Wait, what? Why would he want to stay over? The good news was that it was a school night, right? My Mom would never say yes!

"Okay." I replied, unfazed. He smirked.

"No matter what." That got me. I had to let him stay even if my mom said no? If she found out, I would be killed! I nodded, though. I wasn't going to loose this bet only 2 minutes into it!

As if it was planned already, I heard the front door open.

"Mom!" I yelled happily, jumping off of my bed and running down the stairs. I had totally forgotten about Ivan at this point, too. I was a bit sad to see that it was only my brother home. With Francis.

"Seriously?" I asked loudly, crossing my arms. Francis smirked and wrapped his arms more tightly around Matthew. I groaned.

"What is it, mon chaton? Do you not like it when I kiss you?" The Frenchman purred as he kissed up and down my little brother's neck, his accent thick. Okay, so he was only younger by 6 minutes, but did that matter? No!

I heard a snickering from behind me, only to remember about Ivan. And the bet. Damn him, stupid Commie!

Matthew looked extremely shocked to see him, and I knew why. He knew of my hatred for the other, the fact that he knew my secret. Like the true good person I am, I had not told Mattie about Natalia nor the unspoken deal, or anything about Ivan except that he knew my secret. How awesome am I? At this moment, though, I wished that he knew all about the deal, all about the bet, and that he could save all his questions for later.

Francis obviously thought this, too, and silenced my brother with a kiss to the lips. Thanks! Wait, WHAT! I lunged at him, wanting to pull his gorgeous blonde locks right out of his head. I felt a large hand grip my shoulder before I could move, and turned to see a smirking Ivan.

"Do not go near them, leave them alone. Come, let's go back upstairs. You can talk later, right?" He giggled. I groaned and followed, much to the surprise of my brother and his boyfriend.

Ivan giggled again and led me upstairs, shutting my door behind us.

"Dude, what the Hell! Why didn't you let me rip that stupid grin offa Francis' face?" I asked desperately. He just giggled again.

"You do not want to know," Was all he said. I groaned. Does that mean that I have to actually not want to know? Stupid Commie.

"Let us do something else, da? Why not go out?" I groaned again. I did not want to go ANYWHERE with Commie, in fact, I would be happier watching Francis eat my brother's face.

"I don't wanna," I said simply. He rolled his eyes.

"We are going out." At first, when I heard him say that, I was like WTF? We are NOT going out! But I realized what he meant and relaxed. He meant going out, like going outside! So I nodded, though unwillingly. With a smile, he began to pull his coat back on, but I stopped him. I mean, it was nice out! 70 degrees, at least! And he wanted to wear that? He grimaced but set it back down neatly, taking my arm and leading me back downstairs and outside. Thank God Francis and Mattie had made their way upstairs, or at least out of sight.

Commie began leading me around, and then towards a very out of place coffee shop. I grinned.

"You like coffee, too, Ivan?" I asked, running ahead of him to hold open the door. He bowed his head slightly at my gesture, and nodded.

"Da, I love it. And you?" He asked, although just out of politeness. Everyone knew that I loved coffee! So, I nodded vigorously. He just laughed at me and pulled out a chair, motioning for me to sit while he went and ordered our coffee. I was about to interject, tell him what I wanted, but he silenced me and left. Dick. What if he got something that I wouldn't like? Then he'd be wasting his money! Well, after thinking about that, I realized it wasn't such a bad thing. I mean, if he wanted to waste his money, so be it! Stupid Commie.

He returned after a moment, setting a cup down in front of me with a smile.

"You will like it." It sounded like a command. I lifted up the hot mug and took a careful sip, and liked it. It was, actually, better than what I usually got. It was bitter, yet sweet, not a lot of milk. I looked at Ivan in surprise. He smirked.

"See? You should trust me. I am not going to poison you. Do you think I would put my little pet in harm's way?" He teased, reaching across the table to ruffle my hair. I winced. He called me his pet, which, in my opinion, was a bit too much.

"I don't think I could ever trust you," I replied harshly, taking another sip of my coffee. Ivan feigned being hurt, clutching his chest as if his heart was crushed. I rolled my eyes.

"What are we doing after this?" I asked, drinking more of my coffee. I was almost done, and Ivan's cup was looking suspiciously on the empty side.

"The park?" He asked, shrugging. I shrugged, too, wondering how Kiku was doing. Normally, I would be at his house right now, and we would be playing video games. And laughing. And eating ramen. I sighed.

"Is everything all right, Fredka?" The Russian asked me, looking a bit worried. Here I was, thinking about fun stuff that did NOT include him, and he was worried when I sighed. I groaned, feeling a bit bad.

"Yeah, I'm fine, dude!" I said, laughing. I might as well try and enjoy this time, right? As the great poet Shakespeare once said, "You don't know what you got 'till it's gone." Or that might have been Joni Mitchell, I don't remember.

A few moments of silence passed, which was fine with me. Ivan seemed to be deep in though, so I didn't want to bother him. But those moments turned into minutes, and I was getting bored. I looked down at my feet, wishing that he would snap out of his little daze. I looked up to see that he was staring at me. Like, intently studying my face. It was a bit freaky. Okay, really freaky. He was smirking, too.

"I-Ivan?" I asked, hoping that he was only messing with me. He started giggling and stood, reaching out a hand to help me up. I took it and we left, but he didn't let go of my hand. We were walking down the street hand in hand. And it was weirding me out. I tried to pull my hand away, but Ivan wouldn't let me.

"Hold my hand," He whispered. I was starting to worry. First he makes me let him stay over, and now he wants to hold my hand? I was worried to find out what he was going to make me do later! Bad images, BAD images…

**Author's note:**

**Hey there! I hope you like the bet! I tried to make it funny but at the same time stupid, something that Ivan would make up and something that Alfred would do. With a prize like that, I would do it! I've been debating who should win… Who do you guys think? Ivan won't do anything REALLY bad… Yet… XD**

**I actually know where I'm going with this story! I have a great plot twist coming up! Don't worry, no spoilers! All I'll tell you is that it won't be for awhile.**

**Aww, Alfie! Ivan just wants to hold your hand! XD**

**Franada anyone? For my bestie… She loves that pairing…**

**Again, SOOO SORRY about the wait! I read and love all of your reviews, guys, sorry that I don't reply! But they always make me so happy!**


	5. Chapter 5

**I will save my weak excuses for the bottom. **

As we walked down the street, it seemed to get progressively more awkward, if that was even possible. I internally groaned. How the hell did I always seem to get into these crazy situations? And with Commie nonetheless… I really think that Mattie's right, and that I just attract danger. Or something. He says that I'm just too oblivious to the atmosphere to know when something's going wrong… But what does he know?

I tried to keep up with Ivan's pace as we walked, using it as a sort of distraction. I didn't want to ask him to slow down, I'd sound weak, but I didn't want to jog or anything. It was hard! I mean, I'm a pretty tall guy, but Ivan's a lot taller, and therefore his legs are longer. His normal walking pace was faster than everyone else's! It was like a game: See how long you can match Commie's pace!

But I was soon pulled out of my thoughts by a none-too-pleasant surprise.

Gilbert.

No, and not just Gilbert, he had a little gang of followers with him.

"Er, Ivan? Why don't we go… er, that way?" I said quietly, pointing to another street. He looked down, a bit confused, and raised an eyebrow.

"And why would we want to do that, Fredka?" His voice was in a teasing tone, like usual, but I was too nervous to care. If any of those guys saw me with Ivan, holding hands, then I would NEVER be able to live it down! I would be ridiculed, shunned, and have to sit with Commie at lunch forever…

"To, uhm, you know…" Crap! What was I supposed to say?

"You are right! We should go to my home first and get some things… da?" He said, pulling me towards the street. I mentally cheered. Getting away from Gil was top priority at the moment, and the mission has been completed!

But that also meant I had to go back to House of Braginski, complete with busty woman and psycho sister. Yeah… Not such a good idea now, huh? I am such an idiot…

A few more silent minutes later and we had arrived to a scene oh-so-familiar. Well, I had only been once, but it was not a pleasant experience, so it was a lot more memorable. I guess. He led me inside and back upstairs, back into his starchy white room.

He poked around for a brief moment before grabbing a few things, tossing them into a bag which he threw over his shoulder. He looked to me and smiled, cocking his head to the side slightly as I peered around his lonely room.

"Dude, how can you sleep in here?" I asked, not really caring that he was openly staring at me.

"I do not." His answer was simple, short. I made a little 'oh' face.

"Then where do you sleep?"

He shiftily let his gaze flick to the closet before staring at the floor, not offering an answer. But, after a brief second, he seemed to deem me 'worthy' of telling. "I sleep in my closet, to hide from moy mladshaya sestra…"

I gawked.

"Really? She scares you that much?"

He bit his lip and nodded, looking very nervous. "Every day it is the same. I wake up and have to deal with her following me around until I leave… When I get home, I am faced with her buildup of not seeing me all day, I am practically smothered with her 'love'. As the night progresses, I get no time alone… She begs to sleep with me, begs to marry me, and I must resort to such drastic measures as to hide and pretend that I've left…"

I, again, could only gawk. I mean, what kind of sister is like that? A crazy one. Ivan had every right to be scared shitless of her. I felt kind of bad for him.

"Well, at least you won't have to deal with that tonight, right? Because you're stain' at my palace of awesomeness!" I cheered, hoping to take that kicked puppy look off of his face. He brightened and looked me dead in the eyes, piercing gaze unwavering.

"Thank you very much, Alfred."

I was a bit shocked, and I even felt my face heat up. He's never looked so completely serious! I mean, I had seen him serious before, but this was different. This wasn't angry-type serious, or sad-type serious. It was honest to God, thankful-type serious. Which I had never thought I'd see from Ivan. Ivan, of all people! The Commie who can only smirk and tease and offer that damned 'cute' little smile! He was not the person to go around and act like he was the fricken' ambassador! Seriousness is reserved for government officials and lawyers. Not Commies.

"Yeah, er, whatever…" I managed to mumble, eyesight locked in a grueling battle with my shoes. GRR! Stop being red, face!

"Yes, of course!" Ivan cleared his throat and I looked back up to see that he, too, was in a half-awkward state. It was not unusual, he always seemed to be in some sort of half-something state.

"Ready to go?" I asked, breaking the silence. He nodded and hummed in agreement, and we left House of Braginski, thank God! I hate that place, it gives off too many creepy vibes. It's probably haunted by all of the people the three of them have killed anyways. Well, at least Ivan and Natalia. I'm not so sure about Ivan's 'big sister' or mom or whatever. She seemed pretty nice that one time I met her.

Anyways, the two of us quietly made our way back to my house, and, to my utter relief, my mom was home!

"MOM! I MISSED YOU!" I ran through the door screaming, arms outstretched in the universal gesture for a hug. She laughed and hugged me warmly, soon letting me go to offer a strange look at Ivan.

"Ah, Ivan, it's once to see you… Though a bit unexpected…" She said, smiling brightly.

"I was wondering if I could stay the night, Ms. Jones. I know that Alfred and I have school tomorrow and it is such short notice, but I really have not gotten a good night's sleep…" The Russian bastard said sweetly, innocently, like he just happened to be good enough my friend that it was okay to ask things like this from my mom, who he didn't know. I could almost see the pity in her eyes.

"Of course, Ivan! You can sleep over here any time you need to, honey. It's so nice that Alfred and you are becoming friends!" She cooed, and I frowned. How come he could do that? I want to be able to manipulate people… I should have him teach me how to do that.

"Why don't you two go set up the other bed in Alfred's room? Dinner will be done in an hour or so, okay?" She shooed us out of the kitchen and we headed back to my room, Ivan smiling like a little kid in a candy store. I huffed loudly and slammed the door shut, sitting on my bed and crossing my arms.

"Not fair! How come you can do that?" I asked, eyeing the tall Russian as he sat down.

"Do what?" He cocked his head to the side innocently, loosing the smile.

"You know! How you manipulate people to do whatever you want!"

He genuinely looked confused. "How do you mean?"

I rolled my eyes. "Like, how you act all innocent and like a helpless little kid. Adults, well, everyone buys it!"

"But I am not acting. I really do need some sleep. That is the only reason I have asked to stay over, Fredka."

"Really?" I asked, not believing him.

"Da."

"You don't have ANY other motives?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you don't have, like, an evil Commie scheme?"

He rolled his eyes. "Nyet."

"You lying?"

"Da~ I plan to kill you in the silence of the night and stage my own death, conveniently placing the blame on your brother for getting jealous that I could stay over and Francis could not." He looked so creepy, that for a second, I completely bought that. But only a second.

But, what he said reminded me.

"MATTIE! I NEED YOU!" I cried, practically ripping the door off it's hinges and slamming his open. I was met with a sight I did not like. Francis was still here. But the two were, thankfully (And surprisingly) not in any way doing anything sexual. In fact, they were doing homework.

"Yes, Alfred?" My twin asked, voice a bit of a whisper.

"Come here. We need to talk… alone…" He rolled his eyes and followed me to the bathroom, where I conveniently locked the door.

"What is it?"

"Dude, Ivan's spending the night!" I whined. "I hate him! And he's acting actually nice and saying that he wants to be my friend and DUDE, we made this bet-"

"Woah! Alfie! Calm down!" He lovingly hugged me in that way that only sibling know how to do and made me shut up. "Why is he spending the night? And how did you get mom to agree to that?"

"Grr! Mattie, that's not the point! The fact is, he's staying over. And I have to do a terrible, terrible bet, Mattie… I have to do what he says ALL WEEK. No questions or I lose." He gawked at me, because, I know, I had gotten myself into another crazy situation.

"Oh, maple…"

"Yeah, I know. His first 'demand' was that I let him stay the night, no matter what. Creepy, huh? And now I have to deal with him!"

"What's the prize?"

"If I stand it out, he does whatever I say for the rest of the semester! But if I lose, then I have to do what HE says all that time…"

"Eek, harsh. Just do what he says, and if it gets too creepy and you don't like it, send the signal." Ever since we separated rooms, Mattie and I had sort of a secret code thingy. If one of us needs the other, we say a certain line and the other conveniently shows up. This works at school, too, but we most use it at home when dealing with Francis or mom. The walls are really thin, and we say it pretty loud, so the message comes through. If I need Mattie, I'll say 'I could REALLY go for some pancakes and maple syrup right about now!' and if Mattie needs me he says 'We should go to McDonald's later on, I want a hamburger!' It's kinda lame, but we've used it since we were kids, and it always works.

"Thanks a bunch, Mattie! I love you!" I hugged him and he squeaked, then unlocked the door and threw myself back into my room, to a waiting Ivan.

He was still perched on the edge of my bed, eyes roaming around the collage of posters and pictures on my wall.

"Everything okay?" He asked quietly, smiling meekly.

"Yeah! You okay? You look kinda… glum."

"Da, I am fine. Just tired. I have not gotten a good night's sleep in a long time…" There comes the pity again. Dammit.

"Well why don't we set up that bed now? You can go to sleep as soon as we eat!" YES! That would mean not having to deal with him at night!

"That sounds like a nice idea, Fredka. What do you need me to do?" He stood up and I motioned for him to follow me. We went down the hall and I grabbed a ton of blankets and pillows, shoving them into Ivan's outstretched arms. He carried them back to the room dutifully, along with me and my pile of blankets. I then proceeded to fold them into a bed shape on the floor, adding at least 12 layers. After I finished, and turned to Ivan.

"This good?" He patted it and nodded, smiling happily.

"I think I will lay down now…" As if to prove that he was indeed tired, he yawned and sat down, resting his head on the pillows. I shrugged.

"Night then, Ivan. Sleep well!" I shut my door and went downstairs, thankful to be rid of his evil Commie presence.

"What's for dinner, mom?" I asked, sniffing the air gleefully. She's such an amazing chef.

"Hamburgers, your favorite!" She replied happily, handing me a stack of plates to set the table. "What's Ivan doing?"

"Sleeping."

"Already?"

"Yeah, he said he was really tired."

"It's very nice of you to start being his friend, his family's in a real tough situation right now."

"Oh?"

"Yes, their parents don't support them anymore, so their sister has to take care of them and work. Not to mention poor little Natalia…" She shook her head and tutted. "It's such a shame that innocent children have to suffer because of bad parents. Those three don't deserve it, not at all. They're really such sweet kids…" And now I felt bad. Not only was I a total jerk to Ivan, but his parents were, too. And then he had Natalia. Jeez, poor guy! No wonder he acts creepy all the time!

"That really sucks…" I said, sitting down in my spot and sighing. "Why did their parents stop supporting them"

My mom bit her lip as she sliced a tomato. "I think you should ask Ivan that, not me. I don't feel right sharing their personal details." Sadly, my mom was right. I mean, I had never let Ivan's secret out, no matter how tempted I was! I probably would have been more upset if my mom _had_ told me!

"You're right! So, want me to go get Mattie and Francis?" I asked, changing the subject.

"Please! And Ivan, too! Don't forget about him!"

I rolled my eyes. "If he wants to!" I ran up the stairs, stopping to first alert my brother that dinner was ready. I then ran back to my room, silently opening the door. As I thought, Ivan was sound asleep, chest rising with every heavy breath he took. I stood there like a creeper for a minute, watching him as he slept.

"It is rude to stare, Fredka," He said suddenly, scaring the living Hell out of me. I jumped.

"Holy crap I thought you were asleep! Jeez!" I squeaked, face heating up a bit as my heart pounded in my chest.

He sat up and smirked at me. "I was, but I can feel when I am being watched." He stretched and stood, dusting off his clothes and striding over to where I was standing. "I presume that dinner is ready?"

I nodded and spun around, bounding back down the stairs to my seat in the kitchen. My mom had set the table up nicely, and she was placing the delicious meat patties on the table as I took my place.

"Do you like hamburgers, Ivan?" She asked, and I heard Ivan's little 'da' as a reply. He took the seat next to me and I immediately turned.

"You can't sit there! That's Mattie's seat!"

He deadpanned. "I want to sit here, though."

"But it's Mattie's seat!"

He frowned and studied my expression for a scary millisecond. "Let me sit here, Fredka."

I growled and nodded in unwilling consent, crossing my arms and turning to face away from the stupid Commie. This is going to suck, just like everything since I made this stupid bet mere hours ago.

**Author's Note:**

**DON'T KILL ME! I have very lame excuses for not posting... Those being that: a) No computer... b) No internet and c) Bad grades and exams... Anyways, tomorrow's the last day of school for me, finally, so I will be able to post chapters at least once a week, hopefully more! The next chapter is on it's way, and I will post it tomorrow or *maybe* later today. Expect it tomorrow. **

**How is this story moving along? No relationship stuff yet, not a lot of anything yet, actually... THe next chapter is better... Hopefully my chapters will be longer now that I don't have to worry about homework and school, and the next chapter is already on it's way to being longer than this! **

**I love you all so much and I am SO SORRY for making you all wait this long!**


	6. Chapter 6

Mattie and Francs came down a few seconds later.

"Alfie, why is Ivan… Oh, never mind!" My twin began, smiling. He happily took the seat next to Francis, all the way across the damn table! The seat where the stupid Russian would have been sitting if I hadn't made that bet.

Even now, I regret it. Well, I actually don't think there's been a time when I haven't regret it! I mean, earlier today, before the bet, I was a bit freaked out by him, but then he was actually nice! He seemed so much more innocent, so much more… friendly when he was insecure.

"Hey guys!" Mom cheerily said, sitting down in her spot at the head of the table. "You guys hungry? Let's eat!" She quickly snatched the bottle of ketchup and poured a ton over her burger, handing it to me. I smirked.

"Hells yeah! Thanks mommy, I love you!" I poured some on my delicious burger, turning to the right to pas it to Mattie- Fuck. Damn Commie! I had totally forgotten that he was there! I know I have a short attention span, shut up…

"Spasiba, Fredka~" He said, smiling crookedly and taking the bottle from me. I saw Mattie frown from the other side of the table, obviously worried. Or something.

"Whatever," I retorted, turning back to my plate. If I focused on the scrumptious food, I wouldn't have to think about Ivan. But then there was another problem to worry about…

"St-stop…!" I heard Mattie whine in a half-whisper, pushing Francis' hand away from his lap from underneath the table. A nicely aimed kick and the Frenchman glared at me, frowning.

"Sacre bleu! Alfred, please do not kick me, mon cher!" He said, as if he wasn't copping a feel on my baby brother to deserve it!

"Why don't you stop molesting my brother then, Frenchy?" I sneered.

"Aflred! Language!" My mom interjected. She was ignored.

"Moi? _Molesting_ dear Matthieu? 'Ow could you say such a thing!" He gasped, lacing false sadness into his voice like an untraceable drug. I scoffed.

"Yeah. And I'm the Queen of England!" I spat, sarcasm laid on heavily. I heard Ivan chuckle.

"You are the Queen of England, Fredka? I did not know this!~" The sad thing was, he sounded actually convinced of such.

"I was being sarcastic! Idiot…" I muttered.

"Da. As was I, silly! You are just a little to dense to catch it sometimes…"

"What? I am NOT dense!" I shot, practically dropping the half-eaten hamburger back on my plate. Oh NO he DIDN'T!

"Izvinite! I apologize!" He said, feigning true sadness. The sheer amount of sarcasm in the room was almost too much.

"Shut up and eat, Red!" I picked my burger up, taking another huge, delicious, mesmerizing, fantastically perfect bite of goodness-

"That is a new one! I like it better than 'Commie', podsolnechnik~" He chuckled, and I heard Francis laugh as well. I proceeded to ignore the lot of them.

"Oh? Finally, a smart move from you!"

"I agree, Ivan," Francis said, flipping his hair. Mattie pushed his hand away again from under the table. My blood was starting to come deadly close to a boil, and I know that no one wants to see a PO'd hero…

"Stop teasing Alfred, you two! And Francis! Do I have to send you home again? Please, as Alfred said, keep your hands to yourself! At least wait until dinner is over…"

"MOM!" Mattie said hoarsely, blushing and hiding his face.

"What? We ALL know that you two do things like that! And I guess I can't say 'no' because it's not like you can get pregnant-"

"MOM!" He said again, this time more of a pathetic squeak. She tutted and took another bite of her food, ignoring us in favor of her much more interesting cellphone.

"I'm finished, gonna' go up to my room," I said, placing my plate in the sink and stomping up the stairs in distress. Damn it all! I just wanted a normal dinner where I could savor my burger in peace, but NO! Stupid Commies and stupid Frenchies had to ruin it all. How fucking awesome.

I slammed my door, flopping face-first onto my bed with an overdramatic sigh. And now I had to deal with Ivan. Hopefully he doesn't bring use to his 'power' again. I was sick and tired of being his lap dog.

And as if I had summoned him, he knocked on the door. He did a lot of that, now that I had thought about it. He was always knocking on doors. I yelled a meek and muffled "Come in!" and he entered, sitting quietly back onto his makeshift bed.

"I am sorry, Fredka. I did not mean to be so… mean…" He said, voice quiet. I rolled over onto my back, craning my neck to inspect his face and see if he was lying.

"Whatever, dude. I've got some stuff to do, so you can just do… whatever." I stood and grabbed my laptop, sliding back onto my bed and logging in.

To my delight, Kiku was online. I sent him a chat message, saying hello, and was immediately met with the familiar ding of a reply.

Alfred Fucking Jones: hey dude!

Honda Kiku: Good evening, Alfred-san. How did you fare with Ivan?

Alfred Fucking Jones: fuck! he totally tricked me into a bet, kiku! i have to do what he says for a whole week or else its the whole semester! if i win, tho, he has to do what i say! but he made me let him stay at my house and im scared!

Honda Kiku: Why did you agree to such a bet? Knowing you, though, you won't chicken out…

Alfred Fucking Jones: HELLS NO! i will win, i know it! but im still afraid of what he might make me do…

Honda Kiku: Well, you can always call me if things get too weird. With his reputation…

Alfred Fucking Jones: WHAT REPUTATION?

Honda Kiku: Apparently, he tried to kiss my aniki last year.

Alfred Fucking Jones: ;;O_e

Honda Kiku: And that poor Latvian kid… I think that he stalked him for a while, as well as raping him! Oh, Alfred-san, I worry about you…

"That is not true! I never had sex with Raivis…" Ivan said from over my shoulder. I jumped half a foot off of my bed.

"IVAN! What the hell, man?" I was sure my heart rate wasn't going to slow down anytime soon, thanks to him.

"Da?" He asked innocently, like he hadn't been reading over my shoulder.

"YOU DON'T LOOK OVER SOMEONE'S SHOULDER!" I yelled, as though it wasn't obvious. He didn't seem to get the point.

"Why not?"

"INVASION OF PERSONAL SPACE?"

"Why are you still yelling, podsolnechnik? I am sorry!" He looked hurt, which pissed my off even further. He wasn't allowed to be sad about being a total idiot!

"Is what Kiku said true?" I asked, voice like that of a scolding mother.

He shook his head. "Nyet. Yao-Yao and I, we were not meant to be, I suppose. And Raivis… He was my friend! But then he and Eduard left, and Toris does not like me very much…" He trailed off, and I could tell he was telling the truth. I mean, I'm pretty positive. Either that or he's a really good liar.

"Well, why do people think that you did?" I asked dumbly. He shrugged.

"People like to make up what they think is the truth about things they don't understand."

He did have a point there. Like the time when I was a kid, and I saw something under my mom's bed. For weeks and weeks I had thought it to be a scary monster of demon that had come to get me, but I found out it was just an empty suitcase.

"That still doesn't give you the right to look over someone's shoulder!"

"But it's not nice to talk about people behind their backs…"

**Author's Note:**

**VERY SHORT! But I wanted to get this out to you guys, since I promised it! The next one is almost done, I think I'll be able to get online tomorrow! If not, then Monday it is!**


	7. Chapter 7

After awhile of battling Ivan over trivial matters, I took my shower and got a few moments of peace and quiet. Ah, yes. Ivan had, for the most part, just annoyingly interrogated me about each and every thing I was doing. Every little thing. I hadn't had a break! He told me not to talk to Kiku for the night, that's 'rude' apparently, and that I couldn't play video games! ARG! He had been acting like such a total douche!

So, I had taken the opportunity to shower as a sparkling chance to cool down and try not to strangle the damn Commie.

"Fredka? Are you all right in there?" I groaned and dropped the soap, startled by his sudden outburst.

"Ivan! Go away, dude, I'm trying to shower!" I replied hastily, glad that there was a shower curtain and a door between the two of us.

"You have been in there so long… I just wanted to make sure you were okay…" He padded away almost inaudibly, but I could hear him shut the door to my room. Thank God!

He was acting so strangely. It wasn't as though he was normal to begin with, but he had never acted anything like this before! Even with the strange feeling air between the two of us before, he had never been as strange as this. He was constantly asking me if I was okay, Constantly! So often that I was starting to think something actually wasn't okay... Maybe it was just nerves, or maybe he was using some sort of evil Commie mind control to trick me into an extreme paranoia.

Whatever the case, it was bothering me, worrying me. I just wanted a little time to myself! Apparently, that was not allowed.

"How was your shower?" He asked quickly as I stepped back into my room.

I scowled and towled my hair off again, rooting through a pile of laundry on my floor. After finding a shirt, I pulled it on and flopped onto my bed.

"Why do you ignore me, Fredka?" He whined.

"I'm not! I'm just tired! Can't I just be quite for a little bit, Commie?"

He seemed to think this over carefully, dissecting the sentence and muttering to himself under his breath. "I supose..." He shrugged. "But it is strange to not hear you talking all the time. You are loud, usually. More excited... da?"

"Whatever..." I guess I could have come up with a better reply, but, as I said before, I was tired. Fucking exhausted! Ivan had a lot of stamina, he didn't even seem to be the least bit phased. I guess he was just used to 20,000 questions every night. Or something...

It was quiet for awhile.

"I guess I shall take a shower now, too, da?" He stood and stepped out of the room, his soft footsteps fading into the bathroom. I waited until I heard the familiar 'click' of the door before springing out of bed, practically sprinting to Mattie's room for some well-deserved advice-

"Oh, Mattieu~"

"O-oui, Francis?"

"MATTIE!"

My dearest baby brother was being straddled by that lecherous Frenchman. I could practically SEE the innocence being ripped from my pure little Matthew's soul!

"I WILL SAVE YOU!" I ran and tackled the so-called 'gorgeous' pervert off of my twin, tumbling onto the floor on the opposite side of his bed. Matthew squeaked in protest, and a string of unintelligible French spewed from the foreigner's lips. Lips that had previously been attached to my poor, poor brother's neck. The damn frog was probably a sadistic vampire! GAH!

"Alfie, no!" Matthew's cries stopped me mid-attack. How could I ignore the one I was protecting?

"MERDE! Get off of moi you... you AUGH!" Francis screamed, voice high and whiny and obnoxious. He stood up and brushed off his snooty rich clothes, still muttering to himself in French.

"Wh-why Alfie?" Mattie's asked, running to try and comfort the fuming perv.

"WHY? I was trying to SAVE you from his evil clutches!" I pouted, crossing my arms. "What, are you trying to tell me you LIKED that? YOU LIKED BEING MOLESTED BY HIS FILTHY FRENCH HANDS?"

"Alfred!" Oh fuck. Mattie only called me that when he was pissed. "Stop degrading my boyfriend! Yes, I like that! Now go to your own room and leave us ALONE!" Though his voice was about as loud as anyone else's normal voice, it was frightening. Well, not really... But he was my twin, so the anger penatrated me even more. It was like a tsunami of evil acid! Tsunami... Kiku taught me how to say that, you say 'cats' and then oo-nah-mee. Well, minus the 'ca' in 'cats'. Becasue for us American speakers, the 'tsu' noise is hard to make. Really hard.

What was I talking about? Oh yeah! I was just being dissed by my baby brother.

"FINE! If you'd rather go at it like stupid LAPINS or whatever that's FINE by me! I hope you two have fun!" I threw my hands into the air and huffed out the door, calling a few snide remarks back to the two blondes. "Don't get any VDs!" That was sarcasm, if you didn't catch it. Not like I'd actually want my brother to get any yucky diseases, but I was angry. Here I was, trying to SAVE him, and he repays me with anger? I am the ONLY one that has the right to be angry!

When I slammed back into my room, I immediately crawled under the covers. God! How could Mattie jsut reget me like that? Especially in my time of need!

I heard the door open slowly and sighed in relief. He never could stay mad at me for long. I know him too well! He sat at the edge of my bed and placed a hand on my arm comfortingly.

"So you're not mad?"

"Why would I be mad at you, Fredka?"

I ripped the covers off and glared at the damp, half-dressed Russi- WOAH.

"WHAT THE HELL!" I gawked.

"Da?" He looked so fucking innocent, his head cocked to the side, towel in his lap, scarf snugly around his neck. He looked like the opposite of some creeper sitting on my bed and arm-raping me. But that's what he was.

"YOU MATTIE-IMPERSONATOR!" He just continued to stare at me, head to the side, brow furrowing in confusion.

"Wut?"

"YOU FREAKY COMMIE-"

"Aflred!" My mom appeared in my doorway, frowning. "Shut up! Seriously! I'm trying to get some work done! Can't you keep it down and go to sleep? You have school in the morning, too!" She seemed to realize this now, as if it wasn't apparent before. "Yeah! You need to go to bed. Now!"

I nodded and glared at the shirtless Russian. "Ivan was just being-"

"I don't wanna' hear it, Al! Just get some sleep, okay honey? Night!" She waved. "Good night, Ivan. Sleep well!"

"Good night, Ms. Jones," He smlied in a sickly-sweet manner. A sickly-sweet parent-pleasing manner. My mom ate it up like a box of Thin Mints, or Samoas, or those other good ones... Trefoils!

The door was shut and I was left with freak Commie.

"Put a shirt on... And get offa' my bed!" I gave him a firm shove, not budging him.

"I am sorry... Are you okay, Fredka? You seem upset..."

"No DUH I'm upset! Mattie's off doing filthy stuff with that stupid filthy Frenchman and I have to deal with YOU, Commie!" I growled. He seemed hurt. Really hurt.

"Oh. I am sorry." He slid down onto the makeshift bed and turned to face away from me.

"I think we both know that Russia is no longer Communist, Alfred. I know you are not that ignorant," He said bitterly, icily, flatly.

"Go to sleep, Red."

**Author's Note:**

**So... This chapter isn't very happy, is it? I tried to add a bit of mood-lightening moments in there, but it just sort of came out sad... I apologize for not having this on Monday, like I had promised! And I know that this chapter isn't very long... I hope you'll excuse me, again... I should be making the next ones longer...**

**I'm planning for this story to be around 25 chapters, probably more. I have a LOT planned for this! I don't want to rush their relationship! They don't like each other yet... Maybe they do, I don't know! (Ppppsshhh... How should I know how they feel? It's not like I'm writing this story or anything!) **

**Sorry for any typos! I typed this on a computer with a HUGE red crack thingy on it... I can't see much of the screen at all... **

**Also... I LOVE EVERY REVIEW! I HOLD IT CLOSE TO MY HEART AND CUDDLE IT AND DO OTHER THINGS THAT YOU MOST LIKELY DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT! Yes! So thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! Spasiba! I love you all for your wonderful reviews! They motivate me to write more! **

**Can you believe it? 27 reviews for only 6 chapters? WOW! I feel so loved! T_T**


	8. Chapter 8

I woke up with a blank stare, not excited to go back to school. Nor did I want to deal with stupid Commie. I think he felt the same way, because he was already dressed and downstairs, and didn't even offer me a backwards glance from one of the bar stools. I grabbed a pop-tart and ignored him, turning back to my brother to get conversation. He, too, was frowning.

Oh yeah, I was mad at him, too. Damn it.

"Morning, boys!" My mom happily exclaimed, saving me from a silent morning. I hate silence.

"Hey, Mom!"

Ivan looked over curiously as Matthew and I spoke at the same time. Damn it! Sometimes being a twin sucks, especially when you're mad at the other one...

"Did ya'll sleep well?" I pouted.

"Sure…"

"I still don't see why it's fair that Ivan got to sped the night but Francis didn't!" Mattie said quietly, a little bit of anger laced into his voice.

"HA!"

"I told you, Matt, there are reasons…" My mom looked nervous, eyeing Ivan as she said so. Commie didn't notice, though, he was too busy inspecting his cup of coffee. I rolled my eyes.

"Shouldn't you get ready for school? C'mon! Chop chop!" She clapped loudly, smiling brightly. I groaned.

"Whatever…"

**-Line Break-**

"Fredka, what is wrong?"

"Nothing, Commie. None of your business."

"Alfred."

"No!"

"He's just mad because he caught Francis and I last night…" I looked over and glared at Mattie, but he seemed unaffected by my awesome anger. He must be in league with Commie! Damn it!

"Oh?" Ivan smiled happily. "So you are just jealous, little American?"

WHAT? JEALOUS? What was there to be jealous of? I mean, I do NOT want some smelly Frenchman kissing up MY neck!

"Hells no! What would ever give you THAT idea, freak?" I backhanded, growling.

Ivan pretended not to be afraid of my scariness. "Well, it's not like you have a girlfriend or anything…"

Oh HELL NO! He is such a dick!

"-and anyone would be jealous after being so sexually deprived, da?" Ivan giggled maniacally and Mattie joined in. Damn them! They ARE in league!

"What the Hell, man? ! Firstly, I am NOT sexually deprived-"

"Oh, da, I forgot. You have your hand." Ivan smirked devilishly and I turned red with rage. HOW DARE HE EVEN INSINUATE ANYTHING OF THAT CALIBER? !

"Shut the Hell up, stupid Commie jackass! Why can't you just leave me alone?" I was prepared to storm off and never see his stupid face again, but he chuckled and placed a hand on my shoulder. And his grip was just a little too tight...

"Nyet, Fredka. You will stay. And you will calm down. AND you will eat lunch with me today..."

GOD DAMN HIM TO HELL! I internally screamed and beat the crap out of him, watching his face contort into that of pain, wiping that godawful smile off for good. Hehe.

"Spasiba, Fredka. To that, you would say 'Pazalstah'. That means 'you are welcome', and it also means 'please'. Do not be disrespectful!~" He chuckled again and I honestly felt like killing myself. Or, if necessary, I would switch places with Mattie for the rest of the week. I would almost rather have to get all up-close and personal with Francis than deal with Ivan. Almost.

"Puzzawlstuh!" I whispered angrily, earning a chuckle.

"Nyet, pah-ZAHL-stah! You can say it correctly!"

"Fine! Pazalstah! Yeesh, can't you lay off it, dude?"

"Nyet, I cannot."

"Why? WHY?" I begged like an idiot. Because, sometimes, I'm an idiot.

He leaned in all close, right up to my ear, and whispered, "Because, moy podsolnechnik~" His voice was thickly accented and sent creepy shivers down my spine.

"Moving on…" I said loudly, picking up the pace. Pretty soon, the school came into view and I let out a sigh. It would be a lot easier to avoid the Commie with all of the other kids around, and we didn't have any classes together! I only had to deal with him in TA and lunch, and that would be it. Then I could go home and relax! Yay for not having to deal with Commie-ness!

The three of us entered the school building and Mattie ran off to see Francis, leaving Ivan and I alone. I sighed and headed to my locker, the tall Russian following at my heels.

"So, Fredka… What classes are you taking?" He asked, just to be polite I suppose.

"Maths, sciences, arts, you know the drill. I've got English, too. And you?" This conversation, I realized, was far too calm and collected for how we had been acting before. It was uncomfortably normal.

"The same. I hate taking English, you know? Learning another language is hard." I got one of those shocks again, realizing that he spoke another language. I sometimes forgot! I mean, he speaks English fine, so it's really hard to tell.

"How long have you spoken English?"

He hummed in thought, following me to our TA. "A long time. In Russia, I started learning very young. I moved here to America only last year, though… Schools in Russia start teaching you when you are nine…" He shrugged and took his usual seat a few desks in front of mine, and in the next row over. I stopped in front of his desk, to continue our awkward chat.

"That's cool! Well, I'll see you at lunch, yeah?" He nodded.

"Have a nice day, Fredka!~"

I rolled my eyes and slid into my seat, turning to look at a very curious Gilbert.

"Vat's the deal vith you and Commie?" He asked in his obnoxious voice.

"Nothing, Gil. Nothing at all!" I replied cheerily.

"Vatever… You are so vierd, you know that? Vhy vould you vant to hang out vith him anyvays?"

"No reason…." I contemplated telling him, but decided against it. Only doom and destruction would come from him and his loud mouth!

He rolled his stupid, red, Albino eyes, and I suddely got angry again. Who was he to try and meddle with my buisness? I could talk to and hang out with anyone I wanted to! So have THAT, stupid German Albino! I stuck my tongue out at him from behind. THERE.

I heard giggling and turned to my left, seeing the most gorgeous girl in the entire school smiling at me. Her name was Lili, and she was a gorgeous blonde with a nice heart shpaed face and a nice, slender figure. She was nice, too, not some preppy girl that only went for the jocks and stuff. And she was smart...

"H-hey, Lili!" I said, almost a bit meekly. She smiled all dazzlingly-like.

"Good morning, Alfred." Man, what a pretty Swiss accent. Like she was raised in the Alps or something. That was one thing I loved about this school. There were a ton of foreign kids. So most girls had pretty, cool, foreign accents! And they could speak other languages!

"How are you on this fine day?" I chirped, suddenly more confident. Hey! I mean, she wouldn't have started talking to me if she didn't think I was at least a little interesting!

She giggled. "I am fine. How are you?"

"Good..."

She looked noervous for a minute but then smiled again. "I have a question, Alfred."

"Yeah?" So there was an alterior motive to this conversation?

"I... Can you ask Gilbert to ask R-roderich if he likes me?" Her cheeks reddended considerably.

Oh. Well, that sucks... "Of course I can, sweetie!" I smiled and winked for good measure, turning back to my annoying friend.

"Hey, Glibo... Gotta sec?" I poked him in the arm with my pencil.

"Ja? Vat is it?" He didn't seem too PO'd...

"Does, uh... Roddy over there Lili? She likes 'im..."

He grinned in that scary, shit-eating way that he usually does and shook his head no. "Nein... He likes her brother! Check it out, Roddy's a total fag!" He cackled like this was some seriously hilarious, lulzy stuff. it wasn't.

"Gil... A lot of guys here are gay. That's not very surprising."

He raised an eyebrow. "So now YOU think like that, too? MEIN GOTT! Are you a fag, too?"

I flushed red with anger and embarrassment. Who does he think he is making false assumptions like that? I'M GONNA KICK HIS STUPID ALBINO ASS-

"I'll take that as a yes~ I bet it's with that stupid Russki, too-"

AND I LUNGED AT HIM TO DELIVER THE FURY THAT IS MY FISTS-

"Alfred Jones! LET GO OF GILBERT." The teacher grabbed my arm, letting the stupid German get away with just a scratch and an amused smirk. "To the office. NOW."

I groaned internally and nodded, biting back a sarcastic remark -for once. I didn't want to get in any more trouble. Great. How could my life get any worse at this point?

**Author's Note:**

**Hey everyone! Sorry that this took a little longer to get up, and it's not anything special. I've been super duper busy with looking for jobs, and then I had to go to NYC for a bit... But here's a less-than-grand chapter for you! I'l be able to get up another chapter soon.**

**And, yes, everything mentioned in this chapter is important later on. And I mean everything. :D**

**Also, you should go check out my profile! I posted summaries of all of my pre-written/mostly written stories, to try and appease you fans. I'd love if you went over and told me what you'd like to see soon!**

**Uvidimsya!**


	9. Chapter 9

"Tell me what happened exactly."

I frowned up at Ivan and crossed my arms. I mean, it was bad enough that I got detention for yelling at Gil. Now I had to deal with the annoying twenty questions game via crazy Russian. And he hadn't even waited for me to eat first! As soon as I stepped into the cafeteria, he pulled me to his now empty table. Lucky Toris. He got to escape Ivan's wrath for the day.  
And hadn't I said he could sit at my table with me? I really didn't want to have to deal with Gil, so I took Ivan's obvious curiosity as a sort of good thing. I mean, it's a Hell of a lot better than listening to a whiny Brit and an obnoxious Prussian!

"Tell me!" He commanded, sounding ticked off. I smirked but obliged, seeing as though I didn't have much of a choice.

"Well, Gil started it by insinuating that I was... Gay... And he tried to make it seem as though I was gay with..." I swallowed loudly. Why was is so hard to relay the story back to the Commie? "He said that I was gay with you. So... So I tried to beat him up!" I know for a fact my cheeks were flaming(no pun intended!), but I don't think they were nearly as red as Ivan's. He looked about as red as Mr. Krabs from SpongeBob!

"A-and?" He had taken his eyes off of me, choosing instead to focus on his lunch. I continued.

"Wel, I got sent to the office where I was scolded annoyingly by the principal and given a detention..." I sighed and took a bite of my hamburger. Knowing Commie, he'd probably make me not go to get in even more trouble. Well, he had said that we should be 'friends' before. Wasn't that what got me into this whole mess in the first place? He had to go and make a deal... And then that stupid bet.

But if I win, which I will, I'll be able to boss HIM around!

"So you have detention." He no longer looked embarrassed, and he hadn't even posed that as a question. I nodded and slurped my McShake.

"What of it?"

He drummed his fingers against the table, deep in thought. "I was going to ask you over to meet Katyusha. She gets off of work early today, and Natalia has her... Club..." He looked positively distraught.

"Well, it's only a half-hour detention, and teach usually let's us out early, so I could still come by! I mean, if you want..." What the Hell was I doing? I was inviting myself over to the enemy's house! Willingly! I guess I was just being a Hero, since, I mean, he looked so sad that I had detention.

At my offer, he perked up quite a bit. "D-da? Really?" A huge grin had spread across his face in what looked like hopeful bliss. Damn. What did I get myself into?

"Sure big guy! I mean, what harm could that do!" Unless, of course, he makes me lie about something embarrassing that would totally ruin my image in front of his big, big sister. And when I say big, I mean bras the size of garbage bags!

"Harm...?" He bit his lip and I could almost imagine him stroking a beard. Heh. Commie with a beard. Wouldn't that be hilarious? And if he had, like, Fred the beard! Hello! I totally had to shove some fries in my mouth to keep from laughing. Hopefully my crazy Russki friend didn't notice, but I think he was sufficently distracted by the visitor-person who had taken a seat at our table.

"Ivan-sama, Arfred-kun, I have something you might findu interesting." Kiku was smirking as he unpacked his little bento box like the stereotype he was.

Ivan looked completely confused. "Small little Kiku... What are you doing here?" I could feel the cold aura start to spread around him. Oh, this was B-A-D!

"What is it, Kiku-kun?" I quickly interjected, getting nervous.

"Quiet, Fredka." Fuck. That was a direct command.

"Wordu has gotten aroundu that you two are dating. I came to see if those rumors were true." He chopstick-ed a piece of sushi and ate it as he watched Ivan's expression go from anger to shock to embarrassment.

"Who started these rumors? They are false!" He stood abruptly and his aura came back, this time making the room go completly icy. I swear! Like, this kid who was drinking milk looked at his carton and saw ice! I could see my breath! I KNEW IT! He DOES had creepy Coomunistic powers!

Kiku, however, seemed unaffected and continued to nom silently on his rice. "Gilbert-sama."

"That filthy little-" Ivan glared nuclear missiles at the unsuspecting albino across the room, and I involuntarily grabbed his arm.

"No dude! If you get defensive then he'll think they're true!" He glared at me for a moment before nodding and sitting back down. Kiku was frowning.

"So the rumors are not true?" Oddly, he seemed almost... Let down as both Ivan and I nodded.

"I'm totally not gay-"

"Alfred is NOT my type-"

We both froze. Well, okay, I froze, which caused Ivan too look over to me in confusion.

Holy fucking Jesus Christ on a goddamn stick.

Ivan's gay?

Author's Note:

Hey everyone! From here on out, chapters should be more frequent! I'll try to make them longer, I know that this one is uber short, but there will be more so I think that'll make up for a bit of it. The next chapter includes detention and Katyusha. Oh, we know that this is going to be bad!

Ivan may or may not be gay (yet), Alfred just jumped to an awkward conclusion. XD Silly Cappie!

I'm not sure quite yet why Ivan wants Alfred to meet Katyusha. Oh, wait, it's because he knows something that Alfred doesn't! Tee hee!~

Also, you guys really should vote on what you want to see next. It'd make me really happy! (On my profile!) And I posted one of those fics, check out Hip Albatross if you get the chance!


	10. Chapter 10

Detention is both the bane and the highlight of every highschooler's existence. I mean, there's the fact that you've got some hawk-eyed teacher glaring at you for half an hour, but you've also got time to do homework or meet up with the delinquents and score drugs or whatever. But drugs are bad, boys and girls! Stay away from them!

Well, still, everything happens in detention.

But not for me, apparently. Nope, I had to sit in silence and stare at a clock for every damn second of my time. No one else had gotten detention, and the teacher wouldn't even let me do my homework because that somehow 'ruins the point' of my punishment.

So I sat there.

And did nothing.

And that may seem fun to some people, not having to do anything at all for half an hour, but it really sucks for me. I mean, all I could do was think. Think about Ivan probably being gay and having to spend more time with him.

Yeah. Gay Ivan. That's one of the scariest things I've ever had to think about! And I have to do what he says... Oh God. What if he wants me to kiss him or cuddle or... Or worse? ! I can't just chicken out on the bet, then I'd have to suffer through all of that for the rest of the semester!

That would never do.

After I had heard that at lunch, I got suddenly quiet. I couldn't even eat! That's how freaked out I was! I mean, try having to do what a sexual deviant asked for a week? And, no, I'm not calling Ivan a sexual deviant because he's gay. I know for a fact that he's a pervert! Actually, only a few gays I know are perverts. That's why I got so PO'd at Gil. He was insulting perfectly normal people!

No, Ivan's a pervert. I know this for a fact. Firstly, the rumors. They've gotta have some basis in truth. Poor Raivis.

Secondly, not making me stop Francis from molesting my brother. He wanted to watch for some sick perversion! I mean, either that or he wants my brother and I to suffer! But that would make sense, since he is a creepy sadist...

Thirdly, the handholding. He obviously wants my sexy body, so he wanted people to think we were together so that no attractive women would approach me!

The final straw? Sleeping over. He wanted to watch me sleep. Sick bastard.

All of these conclusions were come to whilst I had to sit through that torturous detention. They make perfect sense! They MUST be true! And now I have to spen more time with Creepy Communistic Pervert. Fuck my life.

And suddenly, I didn't want detention to be over. But when I looked at the clock, I realized that my time was up.

"You may leave, Mr. Jones. I expect I won't be seeing you again," said Mr. Hawky McHawkHawk.

"Are you sure?" asked stupid, scared me.

"Yes, I am sure," replied Hawky McHawkHawk.

"You sure you're sure?" Asked pathetic, stupid, scared me.

"Yes I am sure, Mr. Jones! Now leave before I give you a detention for tomorrow!" Angrily replied Hawky McHawkHawk. Weak, pathetic, stupid, scared me really didn't want a detention tomorrow, so I left.

I crept through the halls like I was infiltrating a secret Russian military base to gain tactical secrets to save the world. Of course, I had to creep past those damn Reds.

Guard spotted ahead! It was Ivan, conniving bastard! Thinking that he could stand there all 'innocently', pretending that the dark secrets he held inside his twisted mind meant nothing. Pretending that he wasn't gay and that he didn't like me.

"There you are, Fredka! I was thinking you had gotten lost!" Damn him! How did he see me? He didn't even turn to look at me, he just began walking towards the door.

"Now now, come along. Katyusha has to work soon."

Fuck him! Or, well, damn him! There, that makes more sense. I would never want to fuck him. Never ever in a majillion years. I'd get his disgusting Commie germs all over me! Ew.

But I followed him anyways. I did promise him! I can't just let him down, y'know. That would crush his nonexistent heart.

I will have you know it was with reluctance, though! I didn't want to follow him anywhere.

"Don't lag, Fredka." Ivan turned and frowned at how far behind I was. He extended a hand to me, and I immediately shrunk away. Yuck! He wants to hold my hand again!

"What? Do you need me to lead you or something?" I gave him a scowl and began walking past him. He shut up and followed.

"What is wrong?" Ivan asked as we walked.

What was he talking about? I was acting completely fine! Sure, I was walking as far on my side of the sidewalk as I could, and sure, I was clutching my bag for dear life, but that's fine right? Totally fine. He was the weird one! All stoic and quiet like some big, stoic Commie. Stupid freak.

"Nothing," I shot back. What? Was it his business anyways how I'm feeling? No! It's not! Euch, he was trying to get all mushy-gushy with me! Isn't that how relationships are, you talk about your feelings? Oh God! He thinks were dating in his scary Commie head! No! NO!

And now he's going to try and get touchy-feely as well as mushy-gushy! I can see the twisted lust in his freaky purple eyes! I should have escaped while I still could! He would just tell me not to if I tried now... Damn it all!

Author's Note: Another short chapter... But it's a really quick update! I know this chapter is weird... I was in a very odd mood when I wrote it...

Anyways... I lied. The NEXT chapter has Katyusha.

Alfred has PMS.

Edit: Sorry for the weird derp that FF had with this chapter! Everyhting should be ship-shape now! I love you all! Also: Please vote on my profile! Or else I'll end up slowly working on all of them and never getting any done... XD


	11. Chapter 11

And finally, we arrived at the creepy house of Braginski. Okay, so, it's not that creepy... But still! I mean, the people INSIDE are creepy, ergo the house is creepified. All infected with their Commie germs or whatever... Sure, that Katyusha-big-boob lady wasn't that bad -and I was about to really meet her- but Ivan and his little 'sestra' are plenty creepy enough to make the entire neighborhood shiver and cry. Ivan himself was enough to make ME want to do that! But I'm a Hero, and Heros are stong-willed. And good at making facades.

"Come in, Alfredka," Ivan said, smiling and opening the door for me. I reluctantly stepped back inside that house, the house that so frequently I have visited! Well, three times is pretty frequently...

"A, maladoy brat! It is so nice to see you!" Katyusha was in the kitchen, smiling brightly. She looked over Ivan and I and motioned to a plate of brownies on the counter. "I leave soon but I wanted to at least say hi. You know, It really is so nice that you and your family are doing-"

"Nyet! S-sestra, you don't need to mention it!" Ivan interrupted quickly, smiling nervously. What did she mean? What was my family doing? Having Ivan over? Well, we SHOULD be thanked, he is filthy. In mind and body. Ick...

"Why not, Vanya?" Katyusha asked, a worried frown taking over her face. "H-has something changed?"

"Nyet..." He leaned foreword and whispered something to her. I, of course, being the awesome capitalist spy that I am, leaned in inconspicuously and tried to make out what they were saying. But it was in that creepy Commie language. Russianese or whatever sounds like someone gargling nails whilst trying to whistle. Ever notice that? American sounds like a symphony of angels. Or a boys choir. Both are nice!

Ivan cleared his throat and stepped back, looking over at me nervously. I smiled back. He was trying to be nice or whatever, so I shouldn't let it show that I was plotting against his plotting.

"It is nice to finally meet you, Alfred. Ivan speaks so kindly of you." She sat down and motioned for us to do the same.

As I sat I got a little confused. "Wait... Ivan talks about me?" Katyusha smiled and nodded.

"Da, all the time. You two have become fast friends! I am so happy that you have, considering everything that your family is already doing. You are just making everything so easy!" I looked over at Ivan and saw that his face was beet red.

"So you talk about me, eh? We're... Friends?" I asked, smirking. I knew it was pushing his buttons, but it was great to see him act so vulnerable!

"N-nyet! Well, I, uh... Ya nye znayoo!" He cleared his throat and tried to start again. "It isn't like I have much else to talk about."

Oh yeah. Well, thanks for the guilt trip, Commie! He had no other friends, and he didn't have much of a life... Damn it! There I go, feeling sorry for the enemy! I really need to get out of that habit...

"Anyways..." His sister nervously tried, obviously hoping to change the subject. "How was school today, Vanya?" She smiled at her giant brother, who looked ready to murder. He probably was.

"Fine." Short and curt. Avoiding something?

"Did you have a nice time at Alfred's? Oh!" She turned to me and smiled again, her enormous knockers jiggling at the movement. "Was my little Vanya on his best behavior?" I smirked.

"He sure was, Kat! He was a _little angel_," I said, mock enthusiasm running rampant. Ivan looked about ready to strangle me.

"Alfred's brother and his boyfriend sure were nice!" Ivan shot back with dead precision, taunting me. Katyusha blushed.

"O-oh? Little Matthew has a, um, boyfriend?" She nervously coughed.

"Da he does!" Ivan exclaimed enthusiastically, smirking. "And they gave us a WONDERFUL SHOW, DA?"

I glared back with my faux cheerfulness, huge grin across my face. "TOO BAD THEY WERE SCARED OF YOU, HUH BUDDY?" I retorted, not realizing that I was being really loud.

"THEY WERE? I THOUGHT THEY WERE TOO BUSY EATING EACH OTHER'S FACE OFF TO NOTICE ME."

"AT LEAST I'M NOT A CREEPER WHO WATCHES THAT!"

"AT LEAST I'M NOT SO SAD THAT I HAVE TO GET JEAOUS AT SUCH THINGS!"

"WELL, I DON'T GO INTO PEOPLE'S PERSONAL SPACE AND READ THEIR MESSAGES!"

"AT LEAST I DON'T HAVE TO HIDE BEHIND A COMPUTER SCREEN!"

"AT LEAST I HAVE FRIENDS!"

It was then deathly silent in the room. Katyusha had tears streaming down her cheeks and Ivan was flushed with anger and embarrassment. I totally won that one, y'all! Beat that, Commie!

But then I sort of felt bad.

I mean, not really bad, not bad enough to apologize, but I realized that what I had said was completely true. And the truth hurts. Ivan really didn't have any friends, he didn't have anyone to talk to or to make funny memories with. He had no one. And I totally had friends. Plenty of them! And I could always call and talk and have sleepovers! But Ivan couldn't.

The Commie cleared his throat -I noticed that his blush had went down, too- and he nervously was whispering to his sister. He turned to me. "Alfred, maybe you should get home soon, you don't want your family to worry." His voice was all monotone and flat, and he didn't even add 'ka' to the end of my name, like he usually does.

I mumbled a goodbye and practically ran home.

Damn it, and I didn't even get to eat one of those brownies.

* * *

So I got home just fine and decided that I'd better ask Kiku for more advice. He was the smartest guy I knew, he could fix anything! Right? Maybe he could tell me how to make everything less awkward between Ivan and I.

Not like I wanted us to be friends or anything! I just meant making the air easier! I didn't want him to be upset when he had the power to boss me around! He could make me do all kinds of unspeakable things that I surely did not want to have to partake in!

So I logged online and sent my first message, waiting reverently for a reply.

And then I got one!

Alfred Fucking Jones: yo kiku i need ur help!

Honda Kiku: Hello, Alfred-san. What is the problem?

Alfred Fucking Jones: well, ivan is pissed off at me and i need to fix it before he makes me do something really bad.

Honda Kiku: Oh, Alfred-san… You never cease to amaze me…

Alfred Fucking Jones: can u help? i need to live through this week!

Honda Kiku: Did you try apologizing?

Alfred Fucking Jones: ….

Honda Kiku: You didn't. You should try that and see how he takes it. Try not to say anything else after that. And try to make the apology sincere. Can you do that?

Alfred Fucking Jones: …..

Honda Kiku: Alfred-san.

Alfred Fucking Jones: FINE! ill do it! damn i wish there was another way to fix this…

Honda Kiku: If that doesn't work, I can try and help you. But please, try that first.

Alfred Fucking Jones: thanks dude.

Honda Kiku: Alfred-san, you better do it now.

Alfred Fucking Jones: why?/ i don't have his phone number.

Honda Kiku: Then just walk back over to his house. Don't avoid this.

Alfred Fucking Jones: but why now dude?

Honda Kiku: To show you felt very bad about this. Now go.

Well, what was I suppose to do? If I didn't apologize, then I would get pummeled with horrible things to do once I got to school! I couldn't avoid my fate. I had to go.

But I didn't want to! Why did I have to go right back as soon as I left? It seemed like I couldn't get five minutes away from that goddamned Commie!

But I went anyways…

* * *

When I got back there, I had no idea what to do. I mean, I knew that I had to apologize, but I certainly didn't want to have to face a sobbing Katyusha again! She was so sad… I felt really horrible for making her cry!

I knocked on the door, feeling my cheeks go a bit red. It was horribly embarrassing! I didn't want to face anymore Russians for at least seventy years!

Ivan slowly opened the door and gave me a quizzical look. "Alfredka? What do you want?" He sounded pissed.

I sighed heavily. "I came here to talk." I had thought about just apologizing and then leaving, but I knew, deep down, that I had to stay and say it. If I just ran away, he wouldn't take me seriously!

He looked at me, studying to see if I was going to do something stupid, and then opened the door enough for me to come it. "Katyusha has gone to work," He said, walking back towards the kitchen. I followed dutifully.

"She has? Man, look…" I sighed. "I feel really horrible for making her cry-"

"Oh, don't worry. She always cries. Every day, at least three times, she has mental breakdown." He didn't even seem phased at all by that, he just sat down and motion for me to do the same. I took the other seat.

"And I also came… to apologize to you, Ivan." There, done. Now I can eat a brownie and go, right?

Ivan slowly smiled. "Spasibo, Fredka." He took a bite of a brownie. "Did Kiku tell you to do this?"

I froze mid-bite on my brownie. "N-no…"

He rolled his eyes. "Don't lie. I can see right through you."

I swallowed heavily. "Yeah, he did… Only because I asked him what to do! I really AM sorry! I mean, there was no reason for me to say stuff that mean!"

He chuckled. "Don't worry, I know! Podsolnechnik, it is okay. You don't have to worry about me getting mad at you, because I won't."

I had to wonder what the hell 'pod-sole-nech-neek' meant, but that was unimportant. "You'll never be mad at me? Why?"

"Because you're my one and only friend, and friends can't ever stay mad at each other."

**Author's Note: Sorry guys that this took forever to update and this is less than wonderful... But I'll have the next chapter soon! A lot of random interactions... And Katyusha almost gives away the plot! :D**


	12. Chapter 12

Something weird had happened whilst I was hanging out at Ivan's house. Not bad weird, but not really good weird either. Well, I guess good weird… But just really, really weird. I had started to enjoy myself.

In my defense, it hadn't started out like that! In fact, my little visit to his house had started really boring and awkward. Apart from my apology, it was all little blips of speech about me being Ivan's only friend and whatnot. And it had started to make me feel pretty depressed.

The poor guy really DIDN'T have any other friends! I mean, it sure didn't seem like he tried very hard to make them, but I really think that he couldn't help it. He was always blushing like a schoolgirl or grinning like a serial killer. That was what usually turned people away.

But he wasn't really such a bad guy! Sure he was awkward, and really freakin' scary at times, but he could be really hilarious, too! He had a lot of good qualities that went unnoticed because his bad ones were just so blatant and freaky.

So, my five-minitue-apology-visit turned into a five hour thing. I know, how did I live through it? I guess it was those damn brownies- they were amazing! That Katyusha lady sure was hell of a cook!

He and I chatted about school, but the conversation easily went to the pressing topped of the bet.

"You know I'm so not going to lose, Ivan!" I remarked smugly. He shook his head.

"We still have many days to go, chelovek,{" he replied, smirking. I rolled my eyes, though my previous thoughts of more perverted or scary commands came back to me. And I was alone in his house, too! Yeesh…

"Pppfftt!" I scoffed loudly. "But you haven't even really DARED me to do anything yet! And what does 'chello-veck' mean?"

"Kakoy? do you WANT me to make bad commands?" He said, feigning genuine surprise, face still adorning that same evil smirk.

"No! That's not what I meant! I mean, like, you made a whole big deal out of all of this and you're just sort of going easy on me and stuff-"

"So you DO want me to make you do harder things."

"NO! Weren't you listening? I just meant that you seemed to be almost sort of chickening out on me and going so and I'm the hero so you don't need to do anything like that but I still don't mean that I want that or any-"

"Stop rambling. I'll take that as a yes~" He purred teasingly. I felt my blood go cold and my face turn red from anger and embarrassment. Why, all of the sudden, did he think he had some sort of REAL control over me? If worse comes to worst, I'll just run away to Alaska…

But it's not like I could voice that. No, 'Stop ranting' was a direct command. Did it mean stop talking in general, or stop talking about the bet, or just be quiet for a minute or something else?

"You can talk, Fredka, but not in such run-on sentences, pazhalsta," he clarified. I rolled my eyes ad pretended that I knew that. That can be our little secret, okay?

"Wait… you're welcome?"

"Nyet, I meant it as please. It means both."

"Oh yeah, I forgot…." I shrugged. "Oh, and by the way… What does that whole chello thing mean again?"

He offered a noncommittal shrug. "It mean like young man, I suppose." He didn't seem to be lying. Not that I could really tell the difference.

"Oh. I just wanted to make sure you weren't cussin' me out in Commie."

"Not communist, chelovek. And it is called Russian."

"Pppssshhh, sor-ry!" I said, sarcastically awesomely. And Russia is still totally Communist. I mean, Socialism and Communism are the same thing! He doesn't even know that about his own country! The edumucation there must be horrible, no wonder he came here to learn!

"Well…." He leaned back in his chair and got a look in his eyes that made me want to run for the hills. "Let us have little bit of fun!"

"Stop! It won't fit!" I screeched. Ivan only chuckled darkly, ignoring my requests for him to stop.

"Nyet, nyet, it will!~ I promise~" His voice was positively dripping with evil. Damn him! How could I get myself into this situation?

"Nooo!~"I whined, but he took no heed in my begging. He reached over and gripped my stick, pushing my own hands away.

"I told you, it will! Now shut up and just let me do it, Capitalist filth!"

"No, damn Commie jackass!" I tried to move his hands, but his grip was too strong. "P-please~"

"Nyet! I told you! There are FOUR spaces! Not three, you dolt! Can you not see?" He pointed to the screen and effectively turned the longest piece on it's side with the joystick, completing a row and filling the room with the winning music.

"Damn you! I can so count! You totally cheated with your stupid Commie powers! I hate you!" I stood and threw the controller at him. I should have NEVER challenged him to Tetris. Who knew that he was the fucking best? I sure didn't! All you gotta' do is match up stupid little blocks! I thought that I'd be able to win… And, of course, HE can do it better and make the stupid long piece fit!

"Ufu~ I told you, Alfredka~" He giggled.

A thought came to me and I turned to him, smirking. "How about we play one of MY favorite games?" He shrugged and I set it up.

I beat him in EIGHT. SECONDS. FLAT. Heh, beat THAT, Commie!

"What the Hell?" He said, dumbfounded. After a few minutes he threw his controller in the air and groaned.

"M-my controller is broken!"

"You always say that!" I happily replied. We had been playing for at least four hours, and he had been determined to try and beat me. Fat chance. I smiled cutely.

"Ah… This character is RUBBISH!" He replied angrily.

"Heh, you always say that, too!" And yet he still picked the same character each time…

He was silent for a moment before he spoke again. "Best of three?"

"Whatevs!" So we played for a few more rounds, me still beating him.

"I have no idea how you are so good at that…" He commented as we took a break for a snack.

"Dude, I don't ever do anything else besides play video games! World of Warcraft, Minecraft, Red Dead Redemption, and SKYRIM!" I gleefully accepted a soda and cast a glance to the clock. "HOLY FUCK."

It was almost NINE. NINE I TELL YOU. God damn, I had to get home!

"What is it Fredka? I-" He looked over at the clock and was shocked. "It is that late already? How did… I don't even…" He motioned to the door nervously. "You must leave, now!"

"That's okay with me!" I replied quickly, putting my shoes back on and rushing to the door. "See ya tomorrow, big guy!"

He called out a reply, but I had left already, running as fast as I could to make it back to my house. As soon as I got to the door I knew that I was in for it. I was NEVER going to hear the end of it from Mom!

I silently opened the door and tiptoed to the stairs, hoping my mom was upstairs or had the TV on or something..

"Oh, Alfred, you're home." Her voice was far too calm. I swallowed nervously.

"Y-yeah, Mom… Sorry that I was o-out so late…"

"Where were you?" She appeared in the kitchen doorway, arms crossed and hair up. So she was working… I had probably got her all nervous, too!

"I-Ivan's… I'm so sorry-"

"Oh? Did you have a good time?" What the…? She sounded almost… cheerful.

* * *

Sorry guys, that this update took forever and it's not that great. The good news is that I got into my Russian Language and Culture online course through VHS, so I'll have at least five minutes a day to upload new chapters!

Some itty bitty plot points are introduced, and Alfie's mum may be giving away too much with her... happiness... -evil grin-

I hope you all enjoy this, I should have the next update by Thursday! LOVE YOU ALL~!~! YOU MAKE ME HAPPY!


	13. Chapter 13

"Where have you been, Alfie?" Mattie asked all innocent-like once my mom was done talking to me. Surprisingly, she wasn't upset at all! Why does she have such a soft spot for Ivan, I wonder? It's very peculiar…

"I was at Ivan's place."

"What?" He looked shocked, and then I remembered that I hated that stupid Commie. And all the reasons I DO hate him came flooding back. His 'crush' on me, his creepiness, the bet.

Oh, I totally forgot all of that.

"What happened? Are you okay?" He looked nervous.

"Yeah, fine. We played video games and ate brownies." He looked at my with disbelief.

"Seriously? Nothing happened?"

"Nothing happened. Can I go take a shower now?"

"Y-yeah. Whatever. Good night, Alfie."

"Night, Mattie!"

So I went to take a shower and think about how everything was all weird. How could I forget all the reasons I hate Ivan? Maybe it was those brownies.

DAMN THOSE DELICIOUS BROWNIES. THEY HAVE EVIL COMMIE POWERS, TOO!

I'd have to question Ivan about those… But Katyusha-lady didn't seem like the type to poison them or anything. She seemed really nice, actually. A little scary, though, with her crying and stuff… She really made me feel all sad. And then Ivan said she was fine! How could he be so inconsiderate? And hadn't he mentioned that she did that, like, every day? No wonder he's so screwed up!

And where were his parents? Did he have any? What happened?

Dammit, shower! Why you make me have so many questions? It's aggravating! I don't really care about Ivan!

* * *

"Alfred, why are you staring at your cereal like that?" Mattie asked the next morning, whilst I was glaring at my Frosted Flakes. Stupid Ivan, invading my dreams…

"No reason. No reason at all," I replied bitterly. "Just some evil Commie magic…"

"What?"

"Nothing…"

I looked up to see my mom carrying a few boxes down the stairs, adding them to a stake that looked oddly familiar. "Hey, mom. What're you doing?"

She smiled, though looking a bit confused. "Cleaning out the guest room."

"Why?"

She laughed. "Good one, silly. Hurry up and eat, I don't want you to be late to school!"

What was she talking about? I tried to think back to any time she had spoken about cleaning out the guest room, for any reason, and found nothing. It was probably one of those times where I wasn't listening.

Hopefully it's not that important.

And then, of course, my thoughts returned to my weird dream about Ivan. God, guys! Nothing like THAT.

Actually, as far as dreams go, it was a pretty fucked up one. It had started with me being at school, like usual, but then our teacher started drawing all over the whiteboard! A huge mural of Tetris. And it wouldn't have been weird if it was our geometry teacher, but it was the English teacher!

And then they turned around, and it was Ivan!

He pointed at me all creepy-like and said, really loudly, "Alfredka. Your homework is on the table."

So, because you can't really control yourself in a dream, I walked up. And there on the table was a cup of coffee. That was it. I picked it up and took a sip, and it was delicious! Just like the coffee Ivan had ordered me that time!

Then, like dreams do, everything changed, and I was on Ivan's couch, playing Skyrim. He came out of the kitchen with a plate of brownies and a huge grin, handing them to me and saying, "They are only poisoned little bit. To make you like me, Fredka."

I threw the controller at him and laughed heroically, wearing a Superman costume and holding Wonder Woman's lasso of truth. I lassoed him and he started blabbering on about living with me, and then he screamed, in his Commie language, "SLYUUSHAT'SYA! SLYUUCHAT'SLYA!"

I just laughed again, and then I was wearing Wonder Woman's costume. He started laughing at me, but then the dream changed again, and I was at home.

Actually, I wasn't me. I was Mattie, I assume, because I was watching me. And I/Mattie felt pissed. Why? Because the real me was totally making out with Francis! EW!

Yeah, like, bodies entwined, hands in eachother's hair, pressed against the wall. All that jazz. And Mattie/Me was sooooo pissed! So I (in his body) ran up and punched Francis right in the face! Haha! Take that, Frog!

And then I woke up.

But I still can't believe I even dreamed about him! It makes me so angry! I've lived with Mattie all my life and had, like, three dreams with him in them.

I hangout with Ivan for two days and he takes over my entire subconscious!

So, that's why I resolved that the brownies had something in them! Why else would I dream about him?

And I was so caught up in THAT part of my dream I didn't even freak out about making out with Francis.

* * *

"Konnichiwa, Arfred-kun. I haven't seen you around. How are you?" Kiku asked, once I got to school. I didn't realized how much I missed him in the matter of two days!

So I hugged him.

He got all tense, like usual, and politely asked me to get off.

"DUDE! I missed you so much, Kiku! Life is so boring without you!"

He gave me a funny look. "It's onry been two days. And you tarked with me onrine."

"So? I still missed you!"

"A-anyways…" His cheeks got all pink for a second, I swear! "I was wondering if you'd rike to join Erizabeta and mine's c-crub?"

"Sure thing! When is it?" Dude, don't think me wrong for not asking too many questions! He's my best friend, I trust his every word!

"Today. After schoor. In the cafeteria. Be there by three." And then he left, all mysterious-like. How rude! I wanted to know more. Oh whelp! I guess I'd just find out after school, right? I mean, it's Kiku we're talking about. The person who freaks out about hugs. It's not like it's going to be something like drugs or sex or alcohol! Or anything else, for that matter. It was probably a study club, because that's all that Kiku ever did. Study, study, study! Like, all the time!

But I had no problems with that. I mean, if he wanted ME to be in it, he was either trying to help me get better grades, with which I had no problem, or it wasn't a study club and pertained more to my interests, which I definitely had no qualms with! Maybe it was a cool video game club or an anime club? That'd be cool!

Anyways, so I continued to my locker, expecting Commie to pop up out of nowhere and start making me do stupid things, just because he could. But I didn't see him.

And that was strangely worse.

Was he hiding? Was he going to spring up out of nowhere and attack?

Well, okay, probably not. But still! He could have been plotting some evil Commie plot to overtake our glorious government and replace it with Communism! Which would be a really bad thing!

So I gathered my things with heightened senses, observing for any signs of the silver-haired assassin. But he wasn't going to give himself away easily, that I knew for sure.

I snuck expertly around the masses, eyes scanning the crowd for that familiar scarf, ears pricked to hear that annoying giggle, nerves buzzing for that terrifyingly icy aura.

Nothing.

Where was he?

Not that I wanted him to be there or anything! Don't you go and get the wrong idea! I was just worried… For my own safety, that's all!

Sheesh, when your audience starts to doubt you, you know that things have taken a turn for the worse.

But back to me, and my awesome hero-ness, narrowly missing an Algebra book to the face from some buffed-up jock. I ducked expertly and made it to class with no problems, lighting up as I saw that Ivan wasn't there either!

"Al! Heeeey~ Vhat you been up to, hanging around vith Commie so much?" Gilbert asked, appearing out of nowhere. I bit back a snide remark, not wanting to get detention again.

"Not much. Uh… my, uh…" I struggled for a lie. Okay, so sue me! I didn't want Gil to know about the bet! He'd ruin every chance I had at winning by putting evil, perverted ideas into Ivan's head, and I couldn't have that happening! So I wanted to give him something so that he'd shut up. My mom's cheerfulness suddenly became useful!

"My mom has been doing some work with Katyusha- that's Ivan's sister- so she's been wanting me to get to know Ivan better. Y'know, like a spy."

He seemed to judge my statement, red eyes speculating my every twitch, before nodding in belief. I could be an actor, you guys!

"That sucks. Commie is such an ass. Hey, how did your detention go?" He asked with a shit-eating grin, lazily propping his feet up on a nearby desk. I shrugged offhandedly.

"Dull. Had a stupid, hawk-nosed teacher glare at me."

"Sorry." I was genuinely surprised. Was… Was Gilbert APOLOGIZING to me? And here I'd thought that his ego was so big he'd never be able to do ANYTHING of the sort!

But then he continued, smirking. "Sorry that you're such a fag-lover."

My blood began to boil, and I was afraid that I'd flip out again! Thankfully, though, Arthur decided to butt in.

"Good morning. Haven't heard from you much recently, Alfred. Are you well?" He asked all politely. Why did he always act so prissy and snooty? It made him seem like some kid of dickhead celebrity or something.

"Hey, Arthur. Just been, ah, busy. Doing stuff for my mom- you know the drill." He nodded lamely, sitting and handing me a sheet of paper.

"I was told to give this to you by Ivan. He stopped by the needlepoint club early this morning to drop it off, I suppose. Told me he didn't trust you enough to see it in your locker." I angrily ripped it out of his hand and scowled whilst Gil just laughed.

"Kesesese! I can't believe that he likes you so much, Freddie! He liiikes~ you!" Apparently, there was some joke there that I missed, because he began laughing hysterically like he had just said the funniest thing ever. And I only think Tosh is that funny. You know? Like, lick-slap-fondle? Comedy gold, right there.

I turned my attention to the paper in my hands, vaguely listening to Gilbert make fun of Arthur -for the millionth time- about his needlepoint club. That got old three weeks after the club started, Gil, and that was a few years ago.

The paper was written in Ivan's fancy-scrawly handwriting, easily recognizable as his own. It only said that he was away from school because he was packing up his things to move, and it directed me to come to his house after school to help him.

BUT! A loophole was found, by yours truly! When he made the bet, he never said anything about written commands! So I was totally going to ditch him and go to Kiku's club thingy! Hehe!

But then something else hit me. He was packing to MOVE. MOVE, PEOPLE. Like, not-living-where-he's-currently-living-type moving, I assumed. Like, WHEN I WON THE BET I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO TELL HIM WHAT TO DO BECAUSE HE'D BE GONE. DAMMIT! He is one conniving little-

"Alfred? You look positively enraged. Mind telling us what Ivan's done now?" Arthur asked all Britishy.

I crumpled the paper up and stood. Oh he is SOOOO going to get it! I'd pound hid big fat nose in to his stupid Commie face! "Ivan has… lied to me about something rather important," I dictated, keeping my voice as level as I could.

Oh I was SO going to give it to him after school! How could he trick me like that and think that he could get away with it? HE COULDN'T.

But then I remembered that I was going to ditch him...

Decisions... I frowned.

* * *

Author's Note: Not a fantastic chapter, though I did have a little fun writing the dream scene. The updates should be faster, as promised. Sorry that this chapter wasn't posted in Thursday, like I promised. I was busy and couldn't find my zip drive. DX

Anyways... A lot of important things are coming up. A LOT. And can anyone guess what Kiku's club is going to be? I stole the idea from another fanfiction I wrote, in which the pairing was Fem!Russia x America X Belarus. And also from a UsUk I read a million years ago, that I don't remember the title of. If I remember, I'll give the author credit. :)

ALSO, what do you guys think Alfred should do? Go to Kiku's club or go to Ivan's house and help him pack? *evil grin*


	14. Chapter 14

Mini A/N: Hey you guys! Thanks for the support! XD Honestly, I was really planning on having Al go to Kiku's club, but you all seem to want him to go to Ivan's! What the heck! And I can't go against the wondrous opinions of my readers, so… Yeah. He's going to Ivan's!

Poor Kiku…

And now back to your not-so-regularly scheduled chapter/update. :)

So there I was, outside of the school, debating in my mind if I should go and tell Ivan off. What kind of douche did he think he was? I mean, I knew he was an evil Commie, but now this?

Though I wanted to go scream and yell at him until his big fat Commie ears bleed, I didn't want to let Kiku down. I told him I'd be there, didn't I? How could I just ditch him like that? It wouldn't be fair, and it wouldn't be nice.

And Heros are totally nice, you guys! The nicest ever! They just ran around and did do-good things for a living! What kind of sexy, Capitalistic Hero would I be if I neglected my Hero-niceness duties? Not a very good one.

But still… The pressing urge to rip Ivan's head off was great. Too great, sadly, for me to ignore.

So I ran to his house faster than a speeding bullet.

"HEY!" I shouted from outside, too lazy to knock. I saw him peek out a window and smile all innocent-like before disappearing. Oh, he was SO not innocent! This was his plan from the very start! Get me to do his bidding like some brainless slave and then LEAVE once I was to tell HIM what to do? Gah! What treachery!

Suddenly, the front door opened, and he appeared- covered in a light sheen of dust and cheeks red. "Privyet, Fredka, I'm so glad you-"

"SHUT IT, COMMIE! YOU AIN'T GOT NO RIGHT TA TELL ME WHAT TO DO YOU LIAR!" I barked. He shrunk back.

"Da, hello to you, too. It IS very nice day outside," He said sarcastically, pouting. "You don't have to yell."

"I CAN YELL IF I WANT TO. AND I WANT TO, CUZ YOU'RE AN EVIL COMMIE LIAR," I retorted, crossing my arms. I COULD yell if I wanted to! And I certainly wanted to!

Ivan frowned and stepped out, grabbing my arm and dragging me inside. "Oh please, Alfred. Stop yelling." He dropped me on the floor near the couch and I sat on it, looking away. FINE! If he didn't want me to yell, I just wouldn't talk at all! That's annoy him, right?

Right?

"So~" He purred evilly, coming back into the room with a soda and another suspicious plate of brownies. I frowned and thoroughly inspected the can before opening it. I did NOT want to be drugged into having another weird dream! Which reminded me, I had to ask him what that 'slooshy-slushy-shat' word meant.

"Why are you angry at me, Fredka? Angry, perhaps, because I didn't come to school to se you in person?" He asked, raising a brow teasingly. I felt my face go hot. God! He was so weird!

"No!" I backhanded, biting my lip to stifle my shouts. Oh, I SO BADLY just wanted to leap onto him and STRANGLE him. "I was yelling because you are evil and tricked me."

"I did?" He seemed confused.

"Yes. When you made the bet," I explained, "You knew you were moving, so that once I won, you wouldn't have to listen to what I said!"

He looked at me like I was retarded before bursting out into hysterical laughter. Evil, evil laughter that sounded like little children being murdered and raped and tortured in the depths of hell.

Okay, maybe not, but it was still evil.

"Wh-what's so funny?" I asked, scared. He only laughed some more.

"ANSWER ME!"

"S-sorry…Ufu~ Sorry…" He said, still giggling. I crossed my arms and looked away. "It is just… You really don't… Haha! I cannot believe that you don't know…"

"Don't know WHAT!" I shouted, standing.

"Maybe ask your mother, da? She tell you."

"Maybe I don't wanna! Why don't you just tell me right now, huh?" I said bitterly.

He bit his lip and obviously pondered this thought for a moment. I tapped my foot in annoyance.

"You won't believe me, Fredka~" He said, shrugging. "Sit and I will tell you."

So, I sat, and I waited. He took a bite of a brownie and chewed it slowly, and I took this a sign that they weren't poisoned, and I took one too.

And finally, he began.

"Well, you know that job your mother has, da? She is social worker. Well… moya sestra and I have been having lot of problem lately with money and such lately. Your mother and my sestra have been talking… She is going to go away with Natalia and I am to stay and finish my studies."

"Well if you're staying, where are you staying-" But I answered the question myself.

No.

NO.

NO!

It's impossible! Ivan couldn't be… at… at MY HOUSE.

I vocalized my thoughts. "Y-you're not staying at my place, right? Right?" He smiled sheepishly, then began to laugh again.

"You really didn't know? I thought you did. I myself didn't know until a few days ago… So I thought I'd make it interesting-"

"I HATE YOU!" I screeched, leaping onto him and punching his chest. He fell backwards off the couch and only laughed, easily holding my arms away from his face. God damn him! How could he do that! And he KNEW that I didn't know!

SInce my arms were immobilized, I gained momentum to bash my forehead against his, leaning back and bringing my face forewords towards his-

And then I kissed him.

In my defense, I did NOT mean to! I SWEAR IT! I was only trying to maybe knock him out, or at least hurt him a little by bonking our heads together! It was him who moved his head a little but upwards!

And I couldn't move! He still had his hands clasping my arms and making it almost impossible for me to get out of his grip, though he seemed just as surprised with the kiss as I was.

And then he… he ran the tip of his tongue over my bottom lip, asking for entrance, pleading with silent beckonings- I yanked myself away, falling back onto the floor.

His face was red, flushed, and he looked at me curiously.

"I… I!" I had NO IDEA what to say. So I grabbed my backpack and ran as FAST as I could back to my house, not stopping when I heard his voice behind me.

Oh GOD what had I just done!

[Line Break]

Once back in the safe and comforting confines of my home, I let out a breath I hadn't known I was holding.

How did that happen? How was I going to face him tomorrow- no, when He MOVED IN.

I ran to the kitchen where my mom was sitting, sipping coffee and reading some papers.

"Why… didn't… you… tell me!" I panted out, lungs on fire. She looked up curiously.

"Tell you what, hun?"

"That Ivan… was going to… move in…. with us!"

She looked confused. "I did. Last week. I asked you about it, and you said it was fine! Why? What's wrong? Did something happen between you and Ivan?"

Did something happen between you and Ivan- YES something happened! We kissed! And I HATE HIM!

So I just threw my hands into the air and headed upstairs, knocking on Matthew's door as hard as I could. "Mattie, Mattie I need you bad. I…"

He opened the door and peeked out, confused. "Yeah, Alfie."

"Let me in, I really need to talk."

He opened the door wider and I sat on his bed, biting my lip. "Ivan and I kissed."

"WHAT?" He asked, confused. "Wait.. start over. How did this come aboot?"

"I went to his house, to yell at him, cuz I found out he was moving. And then he said he was moving in with US, and I jumped on him and-"

"And you kissed him? See! I KNEW you had pent up feelings for him! Your hatred-"

"NO! I punched him a bunch of times in the chest and tried to headbutt him! But he moved and I ended up kissing him…" And then I realized the gruesome truth. I HAD KISSED THE ICKY COMMIE.

* * *

**Wow. I really, really did not see that coming. Like, really. I originally had it planned that he'd go to Kiku's and Ivan would be mad and make him do something stupid, like dress like a girl or something. Not that that idea won't come into play later. -evil grin-**

**I WAS going to make this whole story a TON longer, but this just sort of… happened…. I'm such a bad author. XD**

**Anywho~ I'm a bit sad that the plot was guessed! BUT! You all (and me) still don't know who's going to win the bet! And that'll change a lot of things~ And Kiku's club wasn't guessed! Hee hee!~ It's just such a weird club… But Ivan and Alfred are going to go to the next week's meeting!**

**ALSO! If I get at least… hrmm… TEN reviews to this chapter, I'll put a super cliched wet dream sequence next chapter. (Though, knowing me, I'll probably do it anyways…**


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: TO my most greatest pleasure, I received OVER the quote of ten reviews! That's amazing, you guys! Thank you soooooo much! Seriously, I was about in tears when the review count just kept going up and up...ANYWHO, I added yet another little twist. I hope you all enjoy this chapter! Rated M for strong sexual content! -winky face-

[Line Break]

The next day came up to me faster than I would have liked. I would have liked to never come at all, actually! I tried to stay up all night and drag out the time, maybe feign sickness to get out of seeing Ivan, but then I felt exhausted. So I went to sleep. Though, as soon as I curled up nice and comfy under the covers, I wasn't tired any more.

So, I tossed and turned for hours, and finally fell into a restless slumber.

At school, I ran to my locker and thought that maybe, just maybe, Ivan would be embarrassed, too, and try to avoid ME. Then we could both just get on with our lives, right? Wrong. Because he was moving in NEXT WEEK! My mom explained to me, very loudly, all of the details. God, now I wish I payed more attention! I missed something so HUGE because my mom's voice just so happens to be a very nice background noise…

Anyways, once I finally made it to my TA, I was barraged by Arthur.

"Hey! Alfred! Why did you ignore my calls last night?" He questioned angrily. I gave him a confused look.

"I never got any calls from you."

"I called at least eighteen bloody times, you dolt! Why are you ignoring me?" He started using his weird British swear words, so I knew he was really mad.

"Look, right after school, I was at Ivan's for, like, ten minutes! Then I was home all night! You know I can't lie to you, dude!"

He let his green eyes peer deeply into my blue ones, inspecting me for lies. He did this a lot, don't worry. I was definitely used to it, since we'd been hanging out for years.

Finally, he nodded. "Fine then. I must have called at a strange time, or maybe the wrong number." He shuffled a few papers and sat down, and I did as well. Still no sign of Ivan.

"Arfred-chan!" I turned to see Kiku running up to me, frowning. Crap! I never went to his club! I was too mad at Ivan!

"Sorry about not going to your thing, Kiku! Can I go to the next meeting?" I quickly asked, pleading.

"Yes, of course. It was just very hard to get arong without you." He gave me a stern look. "Don't miss next week, arright? I wirru remind you that day. But I have to go now. Ja mata, Allie-chan!" He called, turning on his heel and zipping out of the room before I could even protest about the nickname. Why was he calling me that, anyways? It was totally a girl's name!

So anyways, I was left a lone for a minute. Actually, TA went by with relative silence. And then first block. And then second block, too! Until it was finally lunchtime.

God, what if Ivan was at school? Why didn't I see him in TA, then? Was he as freaked out by the kiss as I was? Well, he DID think that I was his boyfriend or whatever…

OH GOD WHAT HAVE I THOUGHT!?

He like-likes me, too! I bet he PLANNED that kiss! I bet he WANTED me to kiss him! And I bet he enjoyed EVERY SINLGE SECOND! He's probably at home fantasizing about it now! Or maybe he's going to ambush me and FORCE ME INTO ANOTHER!

How would I manage to stay steady through the bet if he made me do… THOSE kind of things? Oh god!

And then, to my utter horror, he came into the cafeteria.

Being the smart Hero that I am, I was already sitting at his table, waiting. I knew he was going to make me sit here anyways, so why fight it?

When I looked at him, I saw that he wasn't all smiles like I'd thought he'd be. Nope, he had a bright red blush across his cheeks and was holding something- a paper? He noticed me and awkwardly looked down as he walked over, face going a little more red. How odd.

"Wh-what is the meaning of this?" He quickly asked, sitting but still refusing to look at me. "This is n-not funny in any way!" He shoved the paper towards me, and I picked it up and began to read.

You know how when something is completely and utterly horrible, and you know it will scar you forever, and you just can't stand to look, you can't look away? Your eyes just won't stop taking in the information? Well, that was what happened as I looked at the paper.

It wasn't, like, naked pictures or anything, or creepy stalker photos, or a drawing. Nope! It was only words. Four neatly written paragraphs on a regular old sheet of lines paper, college ruled.

It was what was written there that scarred me for life.

_Ivan couldn't help himself. When he saw Alfred slip out of the shower and carefully wrap his towel around his waist, the lights shining on his tanned, toned body, he had to leap in. The water just so perfectly mimicked sweat and oil, a sheen of perspiration that may have occurred from vigorous activity. Dirty, vile thoughts flooded the Russian's mind, causing an immediate tent to form in his pants. A flush of red spread across his face._

_Finally, he could contain himself no longer, so he stepped out of his hiding spot. Alfred immediately noticed and burned a bright red, looking away. "What are you doing in here, Ivan?" He asked innocently, trying to pretend that the feelings the other exuded weren't reciprocated._

_No time for words, Ivan practically ripped the towel off from around the American's waist, causing the smaller to moan wantonly. The Russian ran his gloved hands over the other's glistening skin, taking in every delicious moan and shiver with great pleasure. He leaned forewords and captured Alfred's lips, his tongue hotly exploring the blonde's moist cavern. _

_Alfre himself couldn't resist, moaning again and again into the Russian's mouth. He slid his hands under Ivan's shirt and felt the cool skin against his own burning flesh, wanting to feel more of Ivan against him and inside him- _

I finally was able to rip my eyes away, the vivid mental image burned into my retinas like seeing your grandparents having sex.

OHGODOHGODOHGOD!

"What the Hell?!" I squeaked angrily, my face also a bright red. I noticed that the paper had a back, also full of that neat handwriting, and I was even more shocked. Why would Ivan write this? What the Hell was wrong with him? How could I live with this pervert!? He'd violate me at any possible second that he could!

"What do you mean? YOU wrote it, freak!" Ivan retorted, still freaked out. I froze.

"What do you mean?! I would NEVER write anything like that you sick monster!"

He seemed to take offense at that last comment, crossing his arms angrily, though still flushed. "Why would I want to write something like that then, hm?" He questioned, getting angry.

"I don't know! Because you're sick and you think that we're dating?"

"What? Why would I think THAT?"

"Why wouldn't you? What do you mean! Of course you do! I'm not STUPID!"

He stood up, looking even more threatening by the second. "OBVIOUSLY you are! I would NEVER want to date YOU of all people! Do you think I'm some sort of pervert or something?"

I stood, too, not willing to lose the bet so easily. No, I'd win, and I wouldn't stand for his stupid lies! "YES! You are definitely a pervert! You always want to hold my hand, and you kissed me, and you wrote this TRASHY ROMANCE NOVEL SCENE ABOUT US!" I screeched. "OF COURSE I THINK YOU'RE A PERVERT!"

Suddenly, the room felt really cold and really quiet.

And then I remembered that we were in the cafeteria, and that everyone was staring at us because I was yelling.

And they all just heard all of that.

Oh FUCK!

"It's not what you think!" I voiced to the entire 200-something students already sitting in the cafeteria. I hope to god that they believe me! But I really didn't want to know…

So I ran. I ran all the way to my next class and hid in the back until it started, not hungry any longer.

Oh what have I done?

[Line Break]

About three minutes before the bell was to ring, I begged my teacher to let me go early. And, thank the heavens, he did! So I ran home as fast as I could! Now I at least had a few minutes to think of more things to say to Ivan. I knew that he was going to be coming for me, if not to interrogate me but to start moving his things in. And because I didn't see him, I didn't get told to do anything!

As I flopped down on the couch, thoughts of the whole paper came back. I had decided that Ivan couldn't have written it. Why? Because I had seen his handwriting before, and what was on the paper was most definitely a far cry from his spiky, Victorian script. The handwriting on the paper was small, even, and neat.

And it was oddly familiar. But I couldn't think of where I had seen it before.

But Ivan sure wasn't the perpetrator, that I was sure of. And it was CERTAINLY not me! So who could have done it? And with what motive? It sure was confusing…

I heard the door open and shut and looked up to see Ivan of all people standing there, frowning at me. I groaned and turned away.

"Alfredka! You can't just leave like that! I was talking to you!" He said angrily. Great. I was exhausted and I had to deal with a pissed off Russian. This day just kept getting worse and worse.

"Look, Ivan, I didn't write it."

"Don't lie to me! I am ORDERING you to tell me why you wrote this!" He sounded almost hysterical, begging. Pleading. Maybe even… no, nothing else.

"I'm not lying!" I replied, sitting up and facing him. He glared down at me.

"If you don't answer, you will lose bet. You are already on thin ice from the yelling you wouldn't stop yesterday! Are you really willing to risk that?"

"N-no! Ivan, buddy," I began, starting to get worried. He really wouldn't let it lie that it wasn't me! "I swear on my xbox that I didn't write that! I think someone else did it… But I have no idea why!"

Ivan seemed really shocked, and I guess he believed me, because he sat next to me and sighed. "That paper is really… messed up."

I laughed dryly. "I know."

"Who would have motive?" Now that's MY kind of thinking!

"I don't know. Someone who wants us to get… t-together? Or someone who wants us to turn against each other?"

He tapped his chin in thought. "I think apart. Maybe my little sister? Or one of your friends?"

"Dude, I don't see your sister writing anything like that. Ever. She'd rather kill herself." He laughed at my comment.

"Kiku? He may be upset that I've been hanging out with you and nyet him?" He suggested.

"Couldn't have been! He was at a club meeting yesterday."

"Why does that matter?"

"I think this person must have know that we… you know…" I scooted away from him a little on the couch. He didn't seem to mind.

"Why?"

"Just feels right."

"Oh."

It became really quiet, though it wasn't an awkward silence. We were both deep in thought. We asked each other if we told anyone, I told him about telling Matthew. We both eliminated him from our list because that would have been too awkward for him to write. And then that was it. We couldn't think of ANYONE else with a motive! So Ivan said his goodbyes and went home to finish packing his things.

On the way upstairs, I saw the almost empty guest room and sighed. Living with Ivan wouldn't be too bad if he didn't act all creepy. He wasn't so bad if he wasn't molesting me or threatening me. Though I couldn't really say no to a little friendly fight here and there. He was a cool guy. Never really judging other people, even though they all judged him. Even me! And he still had it in him to forgive me, if at least only a little bit!

AND he made this bet thing and hasn't really done much with it. I know that he knows I know that. He's just trying to build up trust where it was desperately needed. I had almost even forgotten that he knew my 'secret' fear of ghosts! He was so lax about all of it- not rubbing it in my face or trying to make me do bad things.

Nope, he only wanted to protect himself. He was so clumsy and awkward and scary- he needed the protection! So, basically, I was his best option. He could use me to make sure that he wasn't screwed over. He certainly did not need the entire school telling Natalia where he was all the time.

I threw myself onto my bed with a little more force than necessary, trying to just get my mind on some other topic besides Ivan. I just needed to calm down and try to think over everything, and maybe I'd get through it…

Oh, what the Hell! I sounded like Matthew! NOPE! If the Hero wants something done or some sort of knowledge, HE GETS IT.

Or baaaad things happen.

So, I let up and ran towards Kiku's house as soon as I left the front door, taking the familiar left and then right before stopping in front of his house. I grinned hugely and ran towards the steps, but my foot caught on something and I fell face-first into the sidewalk.

And that was when I blacked out.

[Line Break]

_I knew I was dreaming even before the dream started, because I was in the most amazing place I had ever seen. It looked like Disneyland, only cooler. A lot cooler. And there weren't people in costumes running around. Nor were there any people. _

_Nope, I was all alone in this paradise. So I decided to have fun while I could! I sprinted over to a nearby roller coaster and hopped in, only then realizing that I'd need to turn it on for it to work. But it jumper to life before I could move my arm to open the door! And off I went, zipping through the track and screaming like a five-year-old girl, and having a blast._

_When I got off of the ride, I suddenly got that feeling that I wasn't alone, like when the hair on the back of your neck stands up. So I turned around._

_And there was Ivan. He was smiling sheepishly, his cheeks red like a little schoolgirl, and he had a fifties-style root beer float with two straws in one hand. And his clothes! He was wearing a neat button-up shirt and tight fitting pants, a purple bowtie to finish it off. I just gave him a funny look._

_But then, as you know, you can't really control dreams, so I was walking over and sitting at a little table with him, putting my lips to one of the two straws. He follow suit, and then our drink was gone. _

_'This has been such lovely date, podsolnechnik,' He whispered affectionately, holding my hand and gazing into my eyes endearingly. I felt my face go red and my heartbeat speed up. What was happening? Why was he leaning in like that?_

_And then he was kissing me. _

_Suddenly, everything changed. I was dressed in a soldier's uniform, and he was wearing an old Russian military costume from, like, the 1700's. He was smirking maliciously and pointing a gun in my face. _

_'You think you can run, Alfred? Ha! You're so ignorant, little flea,' He sneered, acid laced into his words. I held up a gun that appeared in my hand and clicked the safety off. _

_'Why would I need to run when I can just win, buttercup?' I replied, though I was confused with the strange name. _

_In a flurry of bullets, I found myself in a very compromising position underneath the Russian. Then, to my shock, he forced his mouth onto mine (again!) and began to pull off my clothes, groaning as he did so. HIs gloved hands snaked up underneath my shirt and teased the pink buds on my chest, and my face could not have been a brighter red. _

_He pulled back and smirked. 'Look, little Hero is as red as beet soup. He likes, da? He want more?' I nodded and moaned whorishly, reaching for the belt around the waist of his pants. _

_And then, to my delight, my dream changed again. _

_This time, everything was like normal. I was sitting on my bed in my room, reading a comic book, when Ivan walked in._

_He was dressed, this time, in a butler uniform, a silver tray in one hand. I looked up and inspected him. _

_'Fine, that's fine. Now… get me some coffee.' He nodded once and ran out of the room, returning briefly with a cup of coffee on his tray. _

_'Here you are, Master Podsolnechnik,' He mewled. I took the beverage and sipped it, but then I stopped. _

_'You know what I want, Vanya,' I suddenly breathed. What the Hell? Ivan limbered over and straddled me, planting hot, open-mouthed kissed down my neck. Again, my clothes began to be removed by Ivan's skilled hands. I let out a small moan. _

_And then, oh God, he was upon me, fingers as light and gentle as snowflakes as they trailed down my body, only to stop and teasingly stroke one part of me-_

_I let out a long moan, and Ivan continued assaulting me, kissing down my chest, tracing his tongue along and leaving a damp trail. I wantonly bucked up to him, begging for more of his contact, body quivering. _

_Finally, he reached down, his hot tongue languidly taunting the tip of my member. He pulled away, his hot breath only keeping me at the brink of crying out. _

_'Say my name, lapushka. Moan it.'_

_I looked down and met his violet eyes, nerves on end, needing release. _

_'Ivan… Ivan!'_

[Line Break]

And then I woke up.

And, ERMEGERD, I flipped out.

"WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT DO YOU WANT?" I yelled leaping up and landing a swift kick to the chest of the mysterious someone that had been shaking me. But, by some sort of demonic magic, they blocked my kick and knocked me back down.

I looked up and met the very confused glare of Kiku.

"KIKU! What are you doing here?"

"Arfred-kun. You're outside my house. On ground. And, you have a ROT of expraining to do."

Author's Note: SO YES. IT IS DONE. And, to be honest, I think it turned out horribly. -goes to hide in a corner- But it could have been a lot worse.

I just had so many ideas for the dream, and I had to do as many as I could. Although I'm really starting to regret making this a 1st person POV. But I did find a loophole for that, as you can see…

Did anyone like that? The strange letter? WHO COULD IT BE? I'll tell you this much- It is not who you think it is. If someone guesses it… well, then they get a cookie. :D

ALSO~~~ Since every author does this I AM DOING IT. Whomever should be the person to give the 100th review shall get a one-shot, two-shot, or three-shot of their choice. It can be PWP, fluff, ANYTHING. Any pairing, any universe, anything. And I WILL stick to it.

Is it sad that this is the longest chapter? XD They'll all start to be this long from here on out. I'm thinking about renaming this, too, as well as changing the summary a little. AND I'm going to start going back through the chapters and editing them into better-ness. As in, fixing my spelling errors, adding more detail, fixing plot-holes, and making them just generally longer. :)

Next chapter: Alfred explains some stuff to Kiku and Ivan gets suspicious. And the last day of the bet is a few days away! -is super excited


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: THE AMOUNT OF JOY I AM FEELING CANNOT BE EXPLAINED IN WORDS. I LOVE YOU ALL! -sobs tears of joy- The reviews… XD I guess it's just because I asked a question, but the content and the reactions I got.. they made me so immensely happy! I love you all so much!

I looked at Kiku, horrified. My face felt like lava, my head pounding. WHAT THE HELL HAD HAPPENED? Did I just…? About… about COMMIE? Oh GOD! I really need to lay off the Red Bull- that stuff is DANGEROUS.

"I-it's not what ya think, buddy!" I squeaked, feeling an uncomfortable stickiness in my pants. Oh God, hopefully Kiku can't tell! I think I'd positively die! Annnd… he could.

"Arfred… is that.. Werru, rooks rike you rearry do have a rot to exprain to me. Come inside, I'rru herp you." He extended a hand and I used it to stand up, meekly smiling. What did he mean? Well, apart from the obvious. At least he was calm and level-headed! He'd be able to help me figure out what sort of evil Commie magic Ivan's using on me. Because that's the only way that… _that_… could come about, right? Right?

He took me inside and brought me up to his room, handing me some of my spare clothes that I kept over here, for emergencies like a new video game release. I'd never thought that I'd need them for this type of release.

After I changed, I sat on the edge of his bed and waited for the barrage of questions I knew was to come.

"Okay, what is going on between you and Ivan-san?" He asked, nomming on a stick of Pocky. He offered me a stick and I declined, not really wanting to think about putting sticks -or anything falic- in my mouth at that moment.

"Wh-what do you mean, buddy? Besides the bet?" I stuttered out, nervous as Scooby from Scooby Doo when the find the ghosts. You know what I mean! Shaking, jittery, eyes not staying on one spot. Though I'm not sure Scooby even blinks in the old stuff. You know, the good stuff, where they meet the Addams family? I love Thing. He's silly.

But back to this story, because that show got stupid after they redid it, like, the ninth time.

"No, not that. Arfred-kun, I mean how you two have been together a rot, and how you started yerring about dating during runch, and how you both reft schoor early. And how I found you passed out on my doorstep, muttering his name."

Oh. So that's what he meant.

Wait, I was muttering Ivan's name in my dream? OH GOD.

"I-it's not what you think at all! Actually…" I rubbed the back of my neck. "It's… kind of a long story."

"We have time."

I sighed. "It started… this morning. A-at lunch, actually."

"Arfred-kun, this story doesn't sound very long."

"Well, okay. It started last summer. I went to his house, and he found out about my fear. You know…"

"Hai, of ghosts."

"And I found out his." I gulped. "But I can't tell you, 'cuz I promised him. It's part of the bet.

"Anyways, once school started again, he told me that we should try and be 'friends', so that we don't have to worry about one of us letting the others' secret loose. And I thought that was a pretty good idea.

"So Ivan decided to come over to my house, and that's when we made the bet."

"Arrighto. Now terru me about today. What happened?" Kiku, in my opinion, seemed a little more interested than he should be. But whatever. He was just being a curious friend, right?

Right?

But I continued anyways, because I needed his help, too. About finding out who wrote that horrible story about Ivan and I!

"Yeah, today, he came into lunch with this paper. On it was written… stuff. A-a story."

"What kind of story?" His eyes suddenly got a malicious glare in them. Maybe he wasn't the best person to ask about this…

"Like… a sex scene."

"W-was it graphic?"

"Yeah… yeah I think. I didn't read the whole thing. It freaked me out too much."

"D-details? Were there a rot of details?"

"Yeah…?" He had an odd trickle of blood coming out from his nose. "You've, ah, got some blood-"

He cut me off by pulling a tissue out of nowhere. "Continue?"

"Yeah… So him and I got into a fight, you know? Because he thought that I wrote it, and I thought that he wrote it…"

"And?"

"And so I ran out of the cafeteria."

He seemed a little let down. "Didn't you mention a kiss…?"

I instantly felt my face heat up again. DAMMIT! And I had almost forgotten all about that! "Yeah… It was an accident… I was mad at him because he didn't tell me that he was moving in-"

"HE'S MOVING IN WITH YOU?" Kiku yelled, which was strange. Blood started to pour out from his other nostril, and he amended it with another tissue. He looked pretty funny like that…

But I was more concerned with why he was so excited with that. What the Hell? Did he want me to suffer? I guess so…

"Whoah- Why are you happy about that?"

"I-I'm not! I was just surprised, th-that's arru…"

"Riiight…" I cleared my throat. "But that's not the point! We got a random letter from someone! And we have no idea who it could be from…"

Kiku tapped his chin. "Werru, I have no herp from you there. It wasn't me, Erizaveta, Yong-Soo, or Rirri(Lilli)…" He sighed. "But I do hope you figure this out soon… How many more days of the bet do you have?"

I froze. How many days DID I have left? Were Ivan and I going by the five school days, or a real week of seven days? I realized, with a bit of embarrassment, that I had no idea.

"I guess until Sunday… not really sure…" I admitted.

"So three more days, including today?" He sounded worried.

"Yeah, I guess…" What was with Kiku? He was sure acting strange! Really unlike himself… But I guess he was just freaked out about the whole me and Ivan thing. I mean, I myself was really freaked out! I hadn't even addressed the topic of the… dream that I had.

Seriously, what was up with that? It certainly was NOT something normal!

"So… When I was, uh, passed out on your doorstep, I had a dream…"

"I'm not an idiot, Arfred. I knew that much."

"A-and I guess you know what k-kind of dream it was, too…" I looked away awkwardly. He rolled his eyes.

"Hai, of course."

It was silent for a moment.

"Do you have anything to say about it, Arfred?"

"N-no.. other than WHY THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN HELP ME KIKU. Isn't there, like, an ancient Chinese secret to help me never have that happen again?"

"Werru, I'm not Chinese, Arfred, and I have no idea why your subconscious wourd cause your REM sreep to conjure up an Ivan that you'd find attractive and worthy of doing intercourse with. Unress you have… Hidden feerings?" W-was that a lecherous smirk on his face?

Too bad I din't understand half of what he just said. Isn't REM a band? They did that song 'Your Own Personal Jesus' I think… Why was Kiku bringing that up?

"Well, uh…" I did, however, understand that LAST thing he said! "I do NOT have feelings for that sick, twisted, Communistic bastard! You can just get that idea RIGHT OUT OF YOUR HEAD, okay?" He gave me a strange look.

"I have no idea. Maybe you shourd be asking yourserf this, Arfred. At home. I have, uh.. work to do…"

So I left.

[Line Break]

I certainly didn't feel like going home- Ivan had to move his stuff there sooner or later, right? I didn't want to run into him and have to think about this with his creepy purple eyes observing me the whole time. He was such a creepy lurker.

So, I wandered around the streets, just sort of walking wherever I felt like going. I passed some familiar streets, and soon found myself in front of a coffee shop.

It was the one that Ivan took me to. Funny, huh? How everything seemed to be connected in some sort of cyclical cycle. So I went inside and sat down.

But someone was in the table next to mine, sulking. It was Gilbert.

"Yo dude! Hey… are you okay?" He looked pretty upset, so I sat across from him.

"Nein. Mein bruder is gay." He frowned and sighed heavily. "Und he keeps yelling at me for using the vord 'fag'… I feel really pissed off at him. I mean, I'm HIS older brother, verdamnt! I should be yelling at HIM!" He sighed again.

"Dude… why do you hate gay people so much?" I asked, a little confused. Was he homophobic or something? I mean, there were so many guys at this school that liked other guys, it was practically the norm! And he'd been going to school here forever!

Plus, it was no new news that Ludwig was with that Italian kid. Maybe Ludwig had been.. hiding it?

"I… I don't know, Al." He sighed again. It was really freaking scary seeing him not smirking or doing his creepy little laugh. Something was definitely off.

And then, all of the sudden, the little bell on the door rang as Roderich and Vash stepped in, holding hands. They laughed and took a small table near the front of the room smiling and hailing a waitress.

I realized that they were on a date…

Gilbert looked away awkwardly.

"What's wrong, dude? You can tell me! I'm no judge!" I gave him a hopeful smile. I mean, as much as the guy was an annoying prick, he was one of my best friends. I couldn't just let him sit here and be upset!

"Vell, I guess… I guess…" I seemed to be building up courage. "I guess I'm l-like that, too." Suddenly, he realized what he said. "N-nein! I mean, not like that, don't go getting any ideas or anything! I'm not like that- I mean-"

"Dude," I said, smiling. "It's okay. I don't have a problem with it."

He slumped over, tired. "Danke, Alfred."

"No problem…"

It was quiet for a minute, and the barista came over to take our orders. He was a young guy, like just a year or two older than Gil and I. He had spiky brownish hair and sharp canines, a large smile on his face.

"How may I serve you?" He asked, grinning still. His voice was pretty deep, and he had an accent. I had no clue where from, though. There were way too many foreigners in this school!

"I'll have a coffee, light and sweet," I replied lazily, turning to Gil.

It was the strangest thing, I tell you. His cheeks were red, his eyes lowered, his smirk instead a sweet smile. What had happened to the obnoxious Prussian I was used to?! What trickery was this?!

"I-I'll have coffee, too. Black, bitte." And… did he just say please in his weird language?

ERMEGERD.

It hit me like a brick wall, and as soon as the guy left, I was all over him.

"You liiike him, don't you?~" I teased, giggling. He blushed and buried his face in his hands.

"N-nein! I don't know vhat you're talking about, arschgeige!"

"Oh, I know you do now! You came here to ask him out, didn't you? How sweeeet~" I laughed, knowing that he'd get pissed. It was just so NOT the Gil I was used to! If I got him riled up, maybe he'd get his courage!

"N-NEIN…."

"Oh, c'mon! You two would look good. You're both pretty scary…" The other guy seemed like a taller version of Gilbert! I didn't know if he was obnoxious yet, but he had that crazy look in his eyes…

"Vell…"

"Look," I started, "What happened to your pick up line 'Want to see my awesome five meters?'? What happened to all of the bravado you always boast about, getting into any girls' pants? Just get your confidence up, man!"

He studied me for a moment before grinning evilly. "You know vhat? You're right!"

He stood and swaggered over to the counter, leaning on it in one of his usual cool poses. I saw his hands move in explanation, and heard his 'kesesesesese' laugh, and the other man was laughing along.

A nod and GIl was back at the table.

"Once you've got your coffee, get out of here. I have work to do, ja?" He said jokingly, smiling. "Danke, Al. But don't you have a Commie to meet up vith? He's been outside for the past five minutes."

I looked over, and, sire enough, Ivan was waiting, looking at the end of his scarf as if it was the most fascinating this in the world.

So I grabbed my coffee to-go, and stepped outside, beginning to walk back to my house. Ivan matched my stride.

I offered him the cup. "Want some?"

He accepted it and took a sip, handing it back to me.

"Spasiba."

"Pazhalsta, Ivan."

Author's Note: I don't even… What was this chapter? Filler, that's what it was… Kiku gets involved and formulates evil ideas for sexy yaoi stories, Gilbert reveals his not-so-secret secret and gets his date, and Ivan and Al do a mini-bonding activity. Sorry that there wasn't anything super duper fun. It gets better in the next chapter!

Also, THE WINNER WILL BE IN A REVIEW FOR THIS CHAPTER! I'm so excited!~ I've actually got a whole TON of prizes for them… and will probably have more of these little contests! The winner of the 100th review will receive: a mini-story of their choosing (can be a fanfic for Hetalia, something else (if I know it), a side-story to this story, or just a non-fandom story for them) with any pairing (yaoi, yuri, heater) any characters, and any genre; a scene in this story in which they get to make a suggestion (the next smut, a random funny thing, something sad, etc); a cameo from a character of their choice (can be an OC or a character from another show, too!); and a sneak preview of a chapter later on in the story that has a lot of awesome stuff happening! What a prize lot, eh? But don't worry! I will have the next contest for the 20th chapter! (Not such a great prize lot, but still an awesome prize!)

So… I wish you all good luck! And all of these prizes will be available later on, too!

Also… no one gets a cookie, because no one guessed the author! MUAHUAHUA! (And no, it's not me!) They are a character that has been talked to/about in the story! See you all in the next chapter!


	17. Chapter 17

We made it to my house with no problem, and also with no talking. That part kind of sucked, but I guess it was because we both knew what the other was going to say. And there was that sort of unsoken knowledge, y'know? I mean, Ivan didn't know about the whole bad dream thing- WHAT IF HE DID?!

I felt my face go red and looked away as I held the door for him to go inside, momentarily considering just bolting and hiding in some ditch somewhere. I could be blocks away before Ivan even noticed that I had left! And then I'd just have to wait a few years for him to forget about ever knowing me, and maybe move back to Russia, and THEN I could come home. Then, and only then.

It certainly seemed like a very promising proposition.

But, I couldn't chicken out! What was the Hero supposed to do, run away? NO. The Hero faces danger and embarrassment with a brave face! Well, with as much of a brave face as they could muster...

I threw my now empty cup away and nervously gave Ivan a smile, nodding my head in the direction of the stairs. "So... I guess we should start seeing about your room, right?"

He gave a noncommittal nod and silently loped up the stairs, stopping in front of the door to the guest room. "This one, da?"

I nodded back, pushing it open and sighing. It was right across from mine. And I'd have to see him every day, for God knows how many days. What kind of crank comedy was my life? But speaking of days... I had to ask him how many days the bet was for.

"So, I was wondering... When does the bet end?" I blurted. He quirked a brow, examining the walls around us and chuckling at me. Damned Commie laugh...

"Sunday, lapushka. Three more days, including today. Why, did you forget?" His voice was taunting, though he seemed distracted by the smooth, off-grey walls around us. He ran his black gloved hands over the surfaces, mapping out where his things were to go, I presumed.

"I just never really knew in the first place," I murmured in reply. "A week is sometimes five days instead of seven. And plus, isn't everything bass-akwards in Russia? I don't know how long weeks are there!" Seriously. In my defense, Yakov Smirnoff was totally not lying. Well, probably not...

He shook his head, as if what I had said was some immature, stupid question. It was not! It was completely valid and necessary! "Well, Sunday. Don't forget~"

I rolled my eyes. "Well, two more days is nothin'! I already made it through, what- four, five?" I scoffed, because that was a ridiculous thing for him to say. Truly ridiculous. Shouldn't he already know how awesome I am?

God, I'm starting to sound like Gil...

"Okaaay~!" He chirped, turning and teasingly poking me in the tummy. What a weirdo! I flinched away and gave a disgusted look.

"Don't touch me, creep..." I muttered distastefully. "And you sound like you don't believe me! That's insulting! Because, haven't I done everything you've asked? Or was I asleep or something? Hey! Don't you walk away whilst I'm boasting you jerkoff-" As I dictated, he'd begun his descent of the stairs, leaving me to angrily rant to an empty room. So, I ran after him, as anyone would do.

"Where are you even going?"

"Home. You are, too. We're going to load some of my furniture into the car." He said this plain as day, as if I should have known or something. Uh, do I look like a mind reader? If I could do that, it would have been stupid for him to do this bet! Because I could forsee any bad commands and make a speedy get-away.

And then who'd be the stupid one? Ivan! That's who! He'd be so ashamed of loosing, even if he did manage to somehow clear his mind and make it so that I didn't expect anything. And then I could make him do exactally what he wouldn't want me to...

But this is real life, where I'm not psychic. Which sucks.

"Okay... Wait, what car?-..." I saw my mom in the driveway, waving for us to hurry up. "Oh. Nevermind."

He smugly held the door for me and I grumbled a few curses, earning a chuckle. Damn stupid Commie...

"Hey boys!" My mom cheerfully chirped as we climbed into the backseat. I rolled my eyes.

"Zdrastvooyte, Mees Jones. It nice to see you. Thank you so much for helping..." God, what a lying mother-pleaser. He flipped that annoyingly perfect switch, giving only cheerful looks and pleasing smiles. Like some goody-two-shoes loser.

"Oh, Ivan, it's nothing!" My mom replied all bashful-like, and was she blushing? Damn him for being such a twodface!

She cleared her thoat and pulled out of the driveway. "You live three blocks over- on Fear street, right?"

"Da."

What? Fear street? Like the R. L. Stine books? God, how hysterically accurate! I couldn't help but laugh, even though Ivan just looked at me like I was retarded.

Yeah, whatever.

At least I ain't gonna die by some weird phone stalker because of the Fier family or whatever. That was his fate, not mine.

But, regardless of the name, my mom dilligently drove us over, stopping in front and offering another grin. "Do you need any help, boys?"

Ivan quickly cut it. "Nyet, nyet. Thank you so much, though! I have everything all packed, I only need little bit of help carrying boxes!" He gave a cheerful expression whilst he practically pushed me out of the car, towards the house.

And that's how it went. Ivan told me what to pick up and carry down. First, part of a bedframe, then a few boxes. It was all relatively light stuff, compared to the heavy headboard and stack of boxes Ivan easily brought down. And after the car was sufficiently packed up, we drove back over to my place.

And then, like clockwork, we unloaded everything and hopped back into the ar, deciding that it would just be easier to get as much as we could at one time, so we wouldn't have to deal with it some other time.

And it was really weird, how few things Ivan had. His dresser, his bed, his bookshelf, and a lone desk and chair were his only pieces of furniture. We had to leave his matress and dresser for another time, though, because they didn't fit. And, knowing my mom, she'd make Ivan sleep in my room again, if only so he wasn't 'lonely' or something.

But besides the furniture, he only had about ten boxes! Ten! I was curious as to what he even had that could fit into ten boxes, apart from his sunflower-print blanket and large collection of books. And he had his small tv and his fancy-pants computer. But that was it. Everything. If I was ever to move, I'd have at least thirty boxes, no joke. I have far too many comic books and video games and clothes and posters and... Yeah, you get the idea.

So we carried everything upstairs, to the room across from mine, and I sat uncomfortably at his desk whilst he tutted and opened boxes, humming approvingly.

"Books," I said numbly, staring at five of his boxes. Five! Half of his boxes were neatly packed with books, all at least five hundred pages long, and all in his freaky language. What was that called? Cyrillic, right?

He gave me a smile as he unpacked some and stacked them onto the shelves. "Da, books. What of it?"

"Seriously." I gave an incredulous look. "Half of your things are just books? How bout I get you a Kindle or something? Y'know, so you don't gotta carry them things around." But really! Why would anyone need that many books?

"Nyet." He patted my head and unfolded another box, revealing his one little box of knick knacks. Then another, this time with sheets and blankets. The familiar floral quilt was carefully folded on top.

"Well why not?" I urged, bored of just watching him. "Need any help?"

"I like books. And..." He paused before nodding. "Sure. Open up the other three boxes, pozhalsta."

I shurgged and did as he told, and was met with a stack of clothes in all three. Sweaters, mostly, though there were also a lot of simple button ups and even a few t-shirts. It was a scarily ordinary wardrobe for someone so... Scary! I expected military garb and gas masks, or something akin to the weird tan coat he wore all the time.

"Put those over by my closet for now. Lot of them go in my dresser, but that will wait for later," Ivan commanded, placing some nesting dolls on his shelf. He had already gotten everything organized, save for a few little baubles! I was pretty surprised.

"Welp, okey." I carried the boxes over, as told. Not going to take any chances with the bet! I wouldn't want to lose this far into it! "Hey, and uh... So what do you wanna do after this?"

He put the last thing in his bow onto his desk, a picture frame of him and his sisters, as well as a few other younger people. I pointed to them.  
"Who're they?"

"My cousins Yuri and Dmitri. They live in Sankt Pyetyerburg." It was weird realizing that he had other family besides his sisters. Really weird. But the two guys in the photograph did look like him and his sisters. One had silvery hair and lavendery peachy eyes, whilst the other had black hair and the same green eyes, but he was as tall as my Commie and wore a similar scarf-

Wait!? Since when was Ivan 'my' Commie? God, there go his creepy powers again...

"I think we should watch a movie or something, Fedka." Ivan suddenly said, heading towards the door.

"What do you mean? Oh! Okey!" Took me a second, but I remembered that I'd asked him what to do. And who would want to pass up such an awesomely safe-from-commands activity? Though I did have a flashback to the last time he had offered that...

"Only if you let me pick the movie!" I quickly loped after him, watching in confusion as he went for the front door instead of the living room. "Hey, what gives?"

"I meant big movie, at theatre." He grabbed my mom's newspaper and opened it to the movie listings. "Heeeey! We should see Anna Karenina! That's my favorite book ever!" He chirped, giggling and hopping from foot to foot.

"Anna whodda-whudda?" I asked, leaving a not for my mom and Mattie, just in case this took longer than I'd hope.

"Anna Karenina. Is romance story about most beautiful, perfect, amazing woman who falls in love with dashing man-but she is married to regal and important man! Is scandalous! And there is man called Levin who loves the adorable Kitty-"

"Okey, okey, I get it. You like this." Didn't sound too exciting...

"It has Kiera Knightly and Jude Law."

"Ermahgerd let's go right now dude I can't wait to see this!" I grabbed a jacket from the hall closet and flung the door open.

"Somehow, I knew you would change your mind~" I heard him chuckle, but I didn't care.

* * *

"God that was long and romance-y," I groaned as we finally left the theatre, glancing at the already dark sky. It seriously hadn't taken that long to watch a movie, had it?

Ivan only hummed a neutral response, but I could tell he had loved it. Whatever.

I would have left the theatre, but he convinced me to stay using the evil powers of popcorn or something. He was all like 'aww' at the romance parts, and 'ooh' at the drama parts... He was really into it. And I had never really thought Ivan the type to like chick flicks.

* * *

A/N: Sorry that this update took forever! My dad has our computer, and he was in Bermuda for a week, and now he's in San Diego. So... This was written on my iPod. Sorry for any terrible typos! I tried...

So, the movie for Anna Karenina isn't out yet, but I've seen the previews and HNNNNGGGG. I can't wait! I love that book. T-T I'm in love with Levin, because he reminds me so much of Ivan...

Also, I will have Germarica's FrUK done soon. :3 I'm almost done with it, and I will post it. Congratulations on winning the 100th review!


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Hiya guys! Sorry that this chapter wasn't posted sooner- I was too busy listening to "Beware the Friendly Stranger" by Boards of Canada. That song… Salad Fingers hnng.**

"How was the movie?" My mom inquired as we got home. I shrugged, but Ivan was all-too-pleased to give my mom all of the details. The worst part about the going to that particular movie with Ivan was that there was a scene where it got pretty hot and heavy, if you know what I mean. I had to pretend to go and get more popcorn to relieve the awkwardness.

But, asides from it being a chick flick, it was pretty good. I mean, it was really beautifully made and stuff! The choreography was so graceful! It made me really want winter to come so I could go ice skating.

So, we had missed dinner, but that was okay. It would only have been filled with more talk about Ivan living with us. Well, I couldn't really say I hated that fact now. ONE MORE DAY. I had to survive Sunday and then I would be DONE with the evil bet of evilness, and I could finally tell HIM what to do.

But… Now that I really think about it, what the Hell could I make him do? I mean, it's not like I'm like HIM. He could get away with the creepy stuff, like creepily asking me to do… er… pervy stuff. But I don't want to do that with him! EW! I would have lost the bet if he had asked me something like that!

What else bad is there? I certainly don't want anything like… I dunno, harmful. I could get him to do my homework and clean my room, but I don't think he's smart enough to do that or anything, and I really don't want him to pick through my stuff!

Suddenly, the phone rang, totally cutting off my train of thought. Oh well.

"Hello?"

_"Evening, Alfred."_

"Oh, hey Artie! Want to come over?" Sweet Jesus what a blessing from Heaven above, y'all!

_"Well, my Mum was actually going to ask your Mum if I could. I'd love to."_

"GREAT! Lemme ask her!" I turned around and put my hand over the receiver. "MOM!"

"What do you need, Alfred? I'm right here! No need to yell!" She scolded, stepping out of the kitchen.

"Can Artie come over? His mom has to go to work again." His mom's a nurse at the hospital, and oftentimes has to work randomly. She's also batshit crazy, and is paranoid about having her 'little sonny dear Artie' left at home alone. She needs to, as Artie so artfully puts it, 'be locked up in the bloody loony bin!'

Without hesitation, my mother dearest- a woman of action, so much like myself (only I'm a dude of action)- gave a curt nod. "Oh, anything to help out Ms. Kirkland! She needs all the help she can get, poor thing. Any help, since Allistair left her…" She seemed to get lost in the sad memories of the wild Scotsman before she nodded again and popped back into the kitchen to finish up whatever work she had to.

Arthur had told me the sad stories about a hundred times. HIs father, Allistair, was a crazy-type Scottish dude, and he slept around with a lot of chicks (and guys?). Anyways, he knocked up this chick named Libby*, and that's Artie's mom's sister, Artie's aunt. Libby blew up and told her sister, Artie's mom, but she had already gone and slept with the guy. Turned out that she was preggers, too. But Allistair wanted to be with Alice (Artie's mom). So, they moved here to America and got hitched and everything, but then Allistair got too afraid of commitment, got it annulled, and ran off with Libby. Tough shiz, am I right?

So Alice moved back to boring and rainy England and had Artie, and raised him, and then moved back here because Libby and Allistair had moved back with their kids and stuff. Artie has a brother named Conner, who's the kid that Libby had with Allistair before he was with Alice. So his dad is also his uncle.

Confusing, right?! It's a miracle that his mom can tell the story in order! She's so crazy…

"Yeah, my mom says it's fine! Get your butt over here, I'm dying with only Commie for company…"

_"Oh, right. He's there. Hm… Well, I'll be over soon, chap. Don't you go an do anything stupid to get him mad. He's a bloody wanker, that bloke. I don't want to have to deal with him."_

"Don't worry, dude! We just saw a movie, so he's all happy! It was a Commie movie, though…"

_"Hm… yes. Well, then. See you soon. Bye."_

"Bye!"

I hung up and turned around, expecting Ivan to be creeping on me like the Slenderman or something, but he was nowhere in sight. He must have went up to his room or something. Huh. Whatever.

So, I busied myself with the TV, watching to see when American Horror Story would be on, so I could record it. That show… ERMAHGERD IT'S SO SCARY. Ghosts! A-and… GHOSTS! LOTS OF GHOSTS AND MURDER AND SPOOKINESS!~~~

It's a damn awesome show.

After a few minutes, my mom poked her head back into the room.

"I just remembered something! Where's Ivan going to sleep?"

I froze. Damn. I had totally forgotten that he didn't have a mattress yet! Damn… What was I supposed to do!

"I'll uh… Artie can sleep in my bed with me! Yeah! That'll work, right?" I mean, it was way better than having Ivan sleep in the bed with me. He'd probably whisper creepy thins to do all night, and they'd be… graphic in nature.

"I suppose…"

"HOW ABOUT IVAN SLEEPS IN MATTIE'S ROOM?" I suggested loudly, hoping that Mattie'd hear me. That'd get him back for… For… something!

"Or all three of you could sleep on the floor down here," My mother said, in that tone of voice that I knew meant that we HAD to. Ugh.

"But why! Artie and Ivan hate each other!"

"No we do not!" Ivan so unhelpfully added, suddenly sitting next to me on the sofa. I jumped a foot in the air, because, what the Hell! Where did he come from?

"See, Alfie? Now you'd better get some more blankets for all three of you to sleep down here. Mattie can join you if he wants!"

I groaned and turned my attention back to Ivan, whom I promptly glared at. Meanie.

"What? Why you look at me like that?" He asked, pouting.

"'Cuz Artie'll flip out, probably. He's such a wuss."

"Oh…" It was silent, save for the Priceline Negotiator commercial that was playing. Shatner has digressed to this? That's pretty sad.

"Why are you watching this?" He asked, pointing to American Horror Story, which I was playing the last episode to. "It has ghosts. Aren't you scared?"

I leaped over and covered his mouth, hissing, "I thought that was to be kept a secret, you traitor!" He giggled under my hand, which was really creepy because I realized that I was sitting on top of him to be able to do that.

"Gridirgmermerkjdfor," He said. I uncovered his mouth but gave the 'shhh' gesture.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know you kept secrets in family. You seem very close."

"Well, yeah. We are. But that's my biggest secret. Only you, Mattie, and Kiku know."

He seemed really surprised at this, but then he began to giggle again. Like a creepy little kid or something! It was pretty creepy!

"I-I didn't realize that you two were like _that_, Alfred."

Oh crap. I knew that voice!

"ARTIE!" I squeaked, jumping off of Ivan's lap and giving a sheepish smile. Damn his British sneakiness! I swear, all English people are related to James Bond or something! They can spy better than anyone else!

"Well, Alfred. I really am shocked," He commented, setting his bag down and crossing his arms.

"It's not like that! I was telling him to shut up, I swear!" I whined pathetically. Well, Heroicly pathetically, of course! Y-yeah…

"Uh-huh. I believe you, Alfred." He replied, rolling his eyes. Dammit! Curse my inability to read the atmosphere! I couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or if he really meant it! I guess I was just to go with the latter, because I couldn't really take that risk.

"Well, uh.. Anyways… Uhm.. I have to… Go ask Mattie something! Yeah! I'll be right back!" I happily cried, thankful for somewhat of an excuse so that I could eject myself from the situation.

So, without further ado, I ran upstairs, knocking loudly on Mattie's door and hoping for a response. Nothing. So I pounded louder. Still nothing.

Finally, I just opened the door, and was I shocked! Mattie wasn't there! At first I thought that maybe he was downstairs, or hiding in the closet or something, but there was a note addressed to me on the bed!

Oh noes, what if he had run away because he couldn't live with Ivan! That damn Commie!

But no, that's not what the note said! Yay! It said the he had went out on a date with Francis, without telling mom, and that he'd be back soon. Aww… That's not good! I was left alone with Arthur and Ivan! And that was not a good thing at all! Those two would go into a cursing war again or something! What was I supposed to do if they summoned a g-ghost or something?! OH NO!

But as I looked at the letter further, I noticed something was… off. His handwriting seemed weird.

Weirdly familiar….

AH HA!

It wasn't his handwriting! It was all squiggly and swirly. FRANCIS WROTE THIS NOTE! HE HAD PROBABLY KIDNAPPED MY POOR BABY BROTHER.

So I ran back downstairs to immediately alert mom. But… I knew that Mattie would get in trouble for having Francis over when he wasn't supposed to, and I didn't want that for him! It wouldn't be fair at all! And I'm a nice big brother! I wouldn't let my twin get in unnecessary trouble!

I'd go out and save him!

When I got to the living room again, I told my mom I'd be upstairs with Artie and Ivan, and I pulled them with me. Neither one seemed surprised, for whatever reason.

"Okay," I began, shutting my door, "Mattie's been kidnapped by Francis, so I have to go and save him! Because I'm the Hero! So you two will have to cover for me!" As I spoke, I grabbed my shoes and a jacket, as well as my cellphone and something to threaten Francis with…

"Nyet. You are not going anywhere, Fredka. You will stay here," Ivan said.

Oh crap. No, NO!

"No, I have to go! I can't let him get hurt!" If I had to lose the bet to save my brother, I would!

"What the Hell are you talking about, git? He probably went out with the damn frog! Just leave it be!"

"Da, _brov'i_ is right! You are pigheaded. Leave your brother alone!"

"NO! Look, I can't leave this up to chance! And what did you just call him-"

"Nyet."

"B-but! Can't we make a compromise?"

Ivan looked very confused. "Comp-compromaiyz? I do not know what that means."

"You know, like… I do something for you in return for you letting me go and save him! Doesn't that sound fair?"

He seemed really unsure of what I was talking about. "What do I get…?"

"I dunno. Whatever you want! Uhm… I'll let you play my video games, o-or something…" What the Hell could I offer him? I seriously was drawing a blank! I mean, he already had it in his power to get me to do anything! What else could he possibly want?

"Hmm… How about… I come with you. Is 'compromaiyz'?" He asked.

Dammit! I mean, that is a pretty fair deal…

"No. I refuse to stay here alone and take the heat if you get busted. I must go, too, if only to beat the bloody piss out of Francis for making you worry…" Arthur interjected.

"Da, that actually a good idea. He can come, too."

Great, what started as a solo, Hero mission became a babysitting chore! How would I get anything done with those two following me and fighting?

"I… I…" But it would be safer, I suppose. And Artie really is an awesome spy! I could totally use him! "Fine! That's great! We'll be like the Avengers! I'm Captain America! Ivan, you're the Black Widow, 'cuz she's Russian! And Artie… you're… " Who the Hell would Artie be? Hawkeye? Iron Man? Thor? Hulk? None seem right…

"I'll be Mary Marvel."

Pfffffffft Mary Marvel!

"F-fine by me! Okay! So let's get going! We'll sneak out the window and-"

"Nyet. Your mother will get suspicious. Let us get blankets set up downstairs and pretend to 'sleep' until she goes. And then we can go and find Mattvey."

"That's actually a good idea. Shall we, then?" Artie replied, totally ignoring me. The two gathered blankets and whatnot from the floor, carrying them downstairs and talking amongst themselves.

And I felt… Kinda sad. I mean, I was the only reason they were even talking, and they're ignoring me? What the heck! I mean…

"Alfredka, are you coming? We need your help getting xbox set up down here!" Ivan called. And I felt totally awesome again.

* * *

"Allright. Time to act out plan 'Save Mattie'! You all ready?" I asked as we stood by the door, all dressed and ready to go and hunt Mattie down! We were going to kick that Frenchie's ass and save my baby bro! Because that's what Heros do!

"Artie! You can be my backup! And, Ivan… the most important job ear… BE MY BACK UP NOW LET'S GO!" I practically ran down the driveway, taking a sharp right at the sidewalk and heading towards Francis' house.

Behind me, slowly walking, were Ivan and Artie. Artie even had a mug of tea.

"What the heck! You guys!~" I whined, stopping to flail my arms around because SERIOUSLY? They were going to WALK to rescue my bro?

"Alfredka, Mattvey is probably fine. You are overreacting. And begin very loud! Just calm down and we will get there without being detected," Ivan said reassuringly, patting my shoulder heavily. I practically cringed under the pressure! He must have really been mad at me for something…

And then everything came flooding back. How could I have forgotten about the kiss and the DREAM I had? What happened to me! I really have been spending too much time with him! He's turned me into some crazy perv or something! HELP ME.

But I guess he was right, about the sneaking and stuff-

NO! I MUST STICK WITH MY HERO INSTINCTS! FOR HE IS THE EVIL COMMIE BAD GUY AND WILL CORRUPT MY AMAZING JUDGEMENT!

But he hasn't been mean or anything! I've been around him for an entire week and he's been only nice and helpful! I mean, he hasn't made me do anything bad or-

SO WHAT? HE MAY JUST TRY SOMETHING NOW THAT HE HAS YOUR TRUST!

But he doesn't seem like he will!

BUT HE MIGHT! YOU HAVE TO KEEP YOUR GUARD UP, ALFRED!

I don't have to do anything YOU tell me to! I can make my own judgements, jeez!

WELL, FINE! I'M ONLY LOOKING OUT FOR YOU! Because…. BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.

Yeesh! You didn't have to get all mushy on me! I get it! You care! But I'm a big boy, okay? I'll be fine without you!

THEN I'M LEAVING.

Fine! LEAVE FOR ALL I CARE YOU-

"Alfred, are you all right? You seem like you're about to have a fit. Have you gone mad?" Artie asked, startling me. Warn a guy, damn!

"I'm fine!" I lied, not wanting to admit to my inner conversations!

At least I'm not alone, right?

Right?

"Well, make sure you stay that way, hm? We're almost to the bleeding sod's house. I don't want to have to tote around two loonies…"

"What did you say?~" Ivan got a big, creepy grin on his face, leering at Arthur like he had just killed his mom- er, sister or something.

"Nothing!" He replied, waving his hand dismissively and nervously sipping his tea. He looked hilariously scared, haha! He's so stupid! Ivan isn't scary!

Well, not THAT scary…

But that was unimportant! For we had arrived at Francis' house! And we had no plan…

"What do we do now?" I voiced, staring at the house like it could hear me. Because it might.. With all the pervs that live inside. It's not a nice mental image.

"I suppose we knock on the door. See if anyone's even here. They may have went out, and we can ask one of Francis' sisters if they know where."

"Wow. Francis has sisters? Are they hot?" I asked. Because that was a very important question!

"Shut up, git."

It was weird how creepily silent Ivan was being! I was so used to talking to him that it was strange seeing him act like he always does around other people…

So we knocked on the door. And a really hot chick I knew from school opened the door.

"Oh, Sophia?* You're Francis' sister?" I asked the sweet French girl. I mean, they look nothing alike! She's adorable with her glasses and her cute speech.

"Oui. I am his sister. Do you need him?" She replied, smiling and twirling her hair.

"Yes, we do. Is he in?" Arthur added, blushing a bit. I always forgot how strange he acted around girls…

"Ah, oui. He is upstairs with Matthieu. Here, come in!" She said sweetly, holding the door for the three of us as we awkwardly came in. She pointed to the stairs. "The first door on the left, okay! I'll be in the kitchen if you need me."

So, I ran upstairs….

* * *

**Cliff hangar? I hope not! Don't worry, Mattie's okay! Well, maybe~**

**Anywho, I'm sorry that this took so long to get out. I was busy as all Hell with my online class now that we have the stupid exam to do. I really hate the questions that she gives!**

**Anywho, here are notes for the chapter.**

**Uhmmm… Libby is not a Hetalia character, nor an OC! She's basically just a filler character. I named her after the little sister in a British book series I love. It's the diary of a girl named Georgia. If you can guess it, you get a cookie!**

**Brov'i means eyebrows in Russian. I thought that Vanya might call him that, haha.**

**Sophia is my best friend's OC-thing for Monaco. I guess. I don't know. But you can add her on Facebook for le roleplaying. And email her. :3 If you want to, just ask me in a review, and I'll give you her stuff.**

**Speaking of which, I was wondering if anyone ever wants to role-play with me? I do a lot better than some of what's here, so you know. Just ask!**

**In other news. Listen to the Nordics singing 'Always With You' and the Baltics singing 'Peace Sounds Nice' if you haven't already. I LIVE on the beginning to Peace Sounds Nice, when Latvia's stuttering and then Lithuania sings from the stutter and HNNGGG. I love the Baltics. I really do.**

**Germerica's 'Funny FrUK' one-shot will be up either today or tomorrow, for any of you who are interested! It's called 'It Had to be You.' Look for it!**

**LASTLY. You all should check out the stuff you other reviewers write, because I am fans of all of you! (I'm pretty sure….) So you have something to do whilst you wait for the next update.**

**Bye!**


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